If the internet was an actual place, it would be really strange. Think alternate 1985, but with cats playing pianos everywhere, endless videos of men getting hit in the junk and a whole lot of nudity. It really doesn’t take much digging to find some pretty off-the-wall stuff. Take for example, a young man by the name of Noah Maloney. On February 16th (for whatever reason), this eccentric fellow decided to do something fairly dramatic (and potentially bad for his health) every day until a simple, albeit very strange, demand is met.
Since that day, Maloney has been eating a photo of How I Met Your Mother star Jason Segel every day. No, it’s not that this gentleman enjoys the taste of ink and paper. He’s eating a picture of the loveable giant until Segel decides to eat a photo of Maloney. He’s even linked to a terrific picture, perfect for dining after a long day of filming. Why is he doing this, you might ask?
Well, Maloney and his friends “just like to make stupid videos and this is what happened,” he told MUNCHIES. “We thought it would only be for our friends’ enjoyment.”
You can watch the videos on his YouTube channel, which is aptly named “Dog S**”. He’s already posted a few days of picture munching. If you didn’t know he was eating a picture, you might actually think he’s enjoying it.
So far (obviously), Segel hasn’t eaten a photo of Maloney. The best part about this story is the fact that a lot more people than just Maloney and his friends now know about this, meaning he can’t stop eating photos of Segel even though the actor will likely will never return the favor.
There are so many questions yet to be answered, though: How many days can Maloney keep this up? Will eating that much paper make him sick? And will Jason Segel visit him in the hospital when he’s in the ICU suffering from extreme paper cuts to his insides? (Probably not.)
Most importantly, why did Maloney choose Jason Segel for his insane idea? “He’s a good actor, I liked The Muppets, he said. “I cannot stress enough that this is not fueled by anything.” Either way, Maloney’s probably going to be eating pictures of Segel for a long time. Let’s just hope he takes a trip to Staples and stocks up on ink and paper. He’s definitely going to need it.