There aren’t any universal truths when it comes to casual sex. For some people, it’s the only way to go. Others opt to pass entirely. In general, most of us find ourselves DTF without any expectation of a relationship at least a time or two in our lives. Naturally, there are some stereotypes about this practice, many of which are getting dated in a hurry. Notable among them: That women tend to feel more regret than men when it comes to a breezy hookup.
The truth is, though women may feel pressured to feign regret, they often don’t — if they initiated it. Research conducted by the Norwegian University of Science and Technology and the University of Texas revealed women regret casual sex considerably less if they are the ones to get things started. Unsurprisingly, there was also less remorse if the “partner was skilled and they felt sexually satisfied.” Hey, good sex is good sex.
The researchers examined responses from 547 Norwegian and 216 American students under 30 who identified as heterosexual and found when greater negative emotions, increased disgust, and pressure to participate in casual sex were felt, it was likely the participant would feel regret. Whereas a sexually competent partner, awesome sex, and initiation by the woman all functioned as predictors for diminished regret.
“Women who initiate sex are likely to have at least two distinguishing qualities,” Prof. David M. Buss of the University of Texas told BBC News. “First, they are likely to have a healthy sexual psychology, being maximally comfortable with their own sexuality. Second, women who initiate have maximum choice of precisely who they want to have sex with. Consequently, they have less reason to feel regret, since they’ve made their own choice,”
Choice is really important. The study observed participants were actually quite clear about the type of partner they wanted to get down with. If you are initiating, one hopes it’s with the type of partner you are into. And, revulsion was cited by the participants as the single biggest turn-off after a one-night stand. Pursuing a partner you want doesn’t guarantee the sex won’t be revolting, but it decreases the chances quite a bit.
“Sexual disgust is an important adaptive emotion.” Professor Buss added. “It functions to help people avoid, now or in the future, potential sex partners who are either low in mate value or who carry some risk of sexually transmitted infections,”
Point being: If you are looking to engage in some casual sex with a woman and you want her to tell her friends how great it was and come back for more, give her the power to initiate (and make sure you deliver in the bedroom). Easily done, right?