Because the internet is a safe space for all of us to share our worst secrets publicly, let me tell you a story: When I was 18, I met a dude off LiveJournal — ironic, considering LJ’s new stance on the LGBT community — and we engaged in relations that could be described as carnal. Unfortunately, it was my first time, so when the time came to ooh and ahh, I got really nervous and adopted an English accent.
Even worse, I distinctly remember saying the words “oh, dearie me!” at one point and then, five years later, realizing that that was probably the worst thing I could have said during a time of sexual bliss.
Do you have an embarrassing moment like that? Of course you do! Everyone does! Consider this gentle Canadian, who morphs into the aggrieved employer of a beloved children’s character during coitus: