Have you been watching the seemingly endless Republican presidential debates? If not, you should be, because they are high f*cking comedy, let me tell you. They are also scary as hell. Those debates are the funniest and scariest thing on television right now. By far. It’s like Curb Your Enthusiasm meets Tales From The Crypt or something.
I mean, just watching them standing around is even funny. Just look at Rick Perry in the still above. What the hell is the rootin’-tootin’ cartoon cowboy transfixed on during the National Anthem? Is Jesus riding in on a unicorn or something? Put your goddamn hand over your heart, son! Do you hate America or something? I can only imagine what Rush Limbaugh would say if Obama got caught not having his hand over his heart during the National Anthem. Oh, and what’s up with holding a debate during the premiere of Monday Night Football for the 2011 season? That sounds like something the terrorists would approve of! Just sayin’.
Since you probably did not see it, our friends at Buzzfeed have reduced the entire two hour spectacle to 75 seconds. Watch this and you’ve pretty much watched the whole thing, though Michele Bachmann’s insanity-laced anti-HPV vaccination ranting (She claims to have met someone whose child was made retarded by an HPV vaccination) deserves its own TV show.
Oh, and here’s a clip of the Tea Party crowd in attendance cheering for the death of a hypothetical man without health insurance — this after the crowd at the last debate cheered for all the executions Perry’s presided over in Texas. Good times!