Go the F**k to Sleep is the “bedtime book for parents who live in the real world” by Adam Mansbach (illustrated by Ricardo Cortés). It went to number one on Amazon before it was even released, thanks to a pirated .pdf of the book going viral and leading to huge preorder sales. But but but . . . piracy is evil and never increases sales of quality things people love, right?
No need to pirate it now. The book has been released, and to celebrate they had Samuel L. Jackson voice the 6 minute audiobook which is available free at Audible for a limited time. And if you want to hear the audio but you don’t want to download it on Audible, we have the full clip (NSFW audio, of course) embedded below. Try not to pee with both amusement and fear when Samuel motherf–king Jackson himself tells you:
All the kids from daycare are in dreamland. The froggie has made his last leap. Hell no you can’t go to the bathroom, you know where you can go? The f–k to sleep.
Want even more good news? Writer Mansbach himself has said there will also be an audiobook voiced by everyone’s badass grandpa Werner Herzog. We’ve heard if you play both the Herzog and Jackson versions to a baby simultaneously, it will instantly grow into a full-grown man who sounds just like Sean Connery. Even if it was a girl to start out with. Just what we heard.
Reading starts at about one minute in.