This feature is part of our Politics and Entertainment week, looking at the points where art and issues overlap.
South Park famously once said “Simpsons did it,” the “it” being literally every idea ever. The Ebola outbreak? Simpsons did it. The mass of the Higgs boson particle? Simpsons did it. The outcome of the 2014 Super Bowl? Simpsons did it. Roy of Siegfried and Roy getting attacked by a tiger? Simpsons did… well, everyone saw that one coming. More recently, The Simpsons was credited with “predicting” the political uprising of Donald Trump, who, as you might have heard, is running for president. Not the president of, like, TCBY’s fan club, either, but the President of the United States. I know, right? Surely this race-baiting, orange-skinned, fear-mongering titan of sexism has no shot at…
Even though Hillary Clinton is technically winning (and other polls have her in even better shape), this two-person race — sorry, Jill, Gary, and Harambe, probably — is still too close for comfort. Clinton should be destroying Trump by double digits, and she would be if only women voted. But people, be they deplorables or otherwise, like a loudmouth, and fewer mouths are louder and spit more empty promises than Trump. He’ll build a wall! He’ll fix the economy! He’ll ban “terrorists” from the country! He’ll throw Hillary in prison! He’ll slash taxes! Those are enticing offers for the lazy and pissed off; never discount the lazy and pissed off. They hear what they want to hear, without doing a smidgen of research, and they like what they’re hearing from Trump. He’s adept at manipulation, bending the media to his will with outrageous statements and by talking over his rivals. Including “Crooked Hillary,” the safe, boring candidate who picked a mall mannequin as her running mate.
Clinton’s the reliable Honda Civic; nothing flashy, but it gets the job done. Trump, meanwhile, is a fancy sports car in the city. It’s unreliable, impractical, and foolishly expensive, but damned if it doesn’t make a lot of noise. That’s Trump’s campaign in a nutshell: buy now, worry about the insurance later. Hopefully that “later” never comes, but what if it does? What if Donald Trump becomes America’s next president? Honestly, I’m not even sure he wants that. (Michael Moore even has a theory.) Trump sees politics the way he does business and pretty much everything in his privileged life: as a dick-measuring contest. He doesn’t just want to win; he wants to crush his opponents to prove he can.