Stephen Colbert To Hold Rally With Herman Cain As Samuel L. Jackson-Narrated Attack Ad Hits The Air


Oh man. I don’t even know where to begin with this.

In the latest chapter in his on-going one-man theater of the absurd currently performing in South Carolina — in addition to on TV and the internet — Stephen Colbert will hold a rally in South Carolina on Friday with Herman Cain. As you may recall, because Colbert was unable to get on the ballot in the state, he’s been encouraging voters to vote for the disgraced Cain, who is still on the ballot in South Carolina, insisting that a vote for Cain is actually a vote for Colbert.

So last night at around 9, I received the following hilarious “press release” in my inbox announcing the joint rally…




Attention world, particularly the South Carolina part:

NEW YORK CAROLINA — For a week now, Stephen Colbert has been calling on South Carolinians who share his values to vote for Herman Cain during this Saturday’s historic GOP primary. Actually, he hasn’t called on all South Carolinians yet; he’s only up to “Brabham” in the Charleston phonebook.

Jr. Exploratory Committee Chairman Stephen T. Colbert said of Cain: “Herman is the only former candidate who truly shares my values. It’s like our values were separated at birth. And our ethics are at least first cousins.”

In support of their non-candidacies, this Friday, January 20th at 1:00 P.M. at the Cistern in front of historic Randolph Hall at the College of Charleston, Colbert and Cain will co-hold “THE ROCK ME LIKE A HERMAN CAIN: SOUTH CAIN-OLINA PRIMARY RALLY.” The area will open to guests starting at noon.

Together, these two unique voices will declare that they are the same man. Indeed, if you close your eyes and don’t listen, they are hard to tell apart.

“As with all my appearances on college campuses, I expect to receive an honorary degree,” said the Peabody Award-winning Grammy winner. “This time, I’m hoping for a Masters of Bachelors.”

Colbert said he wants “all undecided voters to vote for Cain,” adding, “9-9-9.”

Please direct all questions to Yahoo Answers. They always know everything.

In other Colbert “campaign”-related news, the Jon Stewart-run super PAC founded by Colbert is now running an attack ad narrated by Samuel L. Jackson against Colbert, one that encourages voters to, you guessed it — vote for Herman Cain.

And the world spins madly on.

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