As you may recall, a couple of weeks ago we brought you the sad news about Ashton and Demi not following each other on Twitter anymore because the web mogul/actor/traffic reporter was allegedly having an “affair.” Now, we here at UPROXX tend to skew away from scandalous stuff you’ll typically find on Perez Hilton’s awful website, but the young Texas temptress at the heart of the affair has stepped forward to tell her side of the story to US Weekly and there’s just too much hilarity inherent in her sordid tale of lust to not share with you guys.
So first off, this whole thing sounds much less like an “affair” and more like a raunchy one night stand. So there’s that. An affair is something that is typically sustained over more than the wee hours of a single morning and usually involves some sort of emotional bond, US Weekly. The 22 year old girl, Sara Leal, says Ashton just walked right up to her and starting kissing her, which led to them getting naked in a hot tub, which led to unsafe sexing.
He just came up and kissed me,” the Texas native tells Us of Kutcher’s first bold move in the wee hours; minutes later, Leal, Kutcher and another young woman were completely nude and in a hot tub on the balcony.
“I didn’t think it was out of the ordinary,” Leal admits. “I wasn’t self-conscious about getting naked.”
Leal said that a little past 6am she and Kutcher had unprotected sex. Then came the pillow talk.
The post-coital talk was a little unexpected, she confesses; the duo talked astrology (they’re both Aquarius), religion, love, even politics. “I told him I was a Lutheran from Texas. He said, ‘Oh my gosh! Are you a Republican?'” Leal says.
Democratic-leaning Kutcher quizzed her on “up-and-coming candidates. I said Rick Perry. He asked if I’d vote for him. I said I didn’t know and he laughed. He laughed at pretty much everything I said.”
Poor Rick Perry. Even his own state’s floozy daughters are undecided about him and the sexually reckless celebs they randomly bang laugh at them for being so.
Finally, I’m no medical expert, but I’m pretty sure the only thing riskier than raw-dogging random blondes in Vegas is riding on the outside of a New York City subway train. Get it together, Ashton!