‘Weinergate’ Building Toward A Climax

06.02.11 7 years ago

I’ll admit, I’ve had a hard time keeping up up with “Weinergate,” the controversy surrounding New York Congressman Anthony Weiner’s possible tweeting out of a picture erect(?) penis bulging through some underwear. Weiner maintains that his social media accounts were hacked, while the right-wing attack dogs responsible for making the whole thing an issue insist otherwise.

After spending some time last night catching up on the scandal, I’ve decided this: The more amateur CSI-type sleuthing done by bloggers I’ve read, the more I believe Weiner was hacked, but the more Weiner himself talks about the incident, the more I believe he is actually the person responsible for the dong photo. In other words, Anthony Weiner should fire his entire communications team, because they’re horrible. 

With all of that said, I think that I’ve come to a conclusion — I suppose you could say “climax” — on the whole thing: Weiner took the photo, but someone hacked into one of his devices, snatched the photo and tweeted it out. I am now absolutely convinced of this, in fact.

My point of absolute certainty was reached last night when Weiner went on Rachel Maddow’s show — perhaps the friendliest television format available to him — and stumbled all over the place like a drunken sailor looking for a condom in the dark.

From the transcript…

It seems like what happened here someone somehow got access to my Twitter account and tweeted a joke, I guess … I didn’t send the picture. I don’t know who did and what they were intending to do.

The photo doesn’t look familiar to me. But a lot of people who have been looking at this stuff on our behalf are cautioning me that, you know, stuff gets manipulated, stuff gets — you know, you can change your photograph, you can manipulate a photograph, you can doctor a photograph. And so, I don’t want to say with certitude it maybe didn’t start out being a photograph of mine, and now, it looks something different or maybe it was something that was from another account that got sent to me. I don’t — I can’t say for sure. I don’t want to say with certitude … I’m not trying to be evasive. I just don’t know … Well, it could be (my penis) or it could have been a photograph that was that’s taken out of context or manipulated or changed in some way. So, maybe it did or maybe it’s a photograph that was dropped into an account from somewhere else. I mean, I can’t say. I don’t want to cast this net wider by saying it’s someone else. So, I’m going to say that I can’t say with certitude it’s me or it’s not.

I DARE YOU TO TELL ME I’M WRONG! Anyway, what’s the big deal? He committed no crime. His penis wasn’t actually exposed. Hell, “family values” conservative David Vitter got caught sh*tting in diapers with prostitutes and that as$hole is still in the Senate. So f*ck it, man. Whatever you do, Weiner, don’t quit!

Here’s the full interview, btw…

Bros, just stop taking pics of your dongs, okay?!

(Photoshop via Matt T)

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