Greetings, fight fans, and welcome to UFC Fight Week! We’ve got three events across three days, so things are going to get nuts. First up, UFC Fight Night 90, featuring a lightweight title bout. Everything, from the first prelim bout at 6:30 p.m. to the main card, which starts at 10 p.m., is on Fight Pass. Let’s take a look at our staff predictions, and stick around for a spirited live discussion!
2016 Important Results:
Jessica: 107-88-4 (55 percent)
Burnsy: 84-86-3 (49 percent)
Ryan: 5-1 (83 percent)
Jason: 19-16-1 (56 percent)
Jackman: 7-5 (58 percent)
Enrique: 7-5 (58 percent)
Jamie: 16-13-1 (55 percent)
Justin: 13-4 (76 percent)
Marty: 20-12-1 (62 percent)
Jared: 13-11 (54 percent)
Parker: 3-4 (43 percent)
Team Davis: 53-42-3 (56 percent)
Note from Team Davis: Dr. Vet reporting in with the picks from Ms. Abigail the Abyssinian.
This week we had an unexpected and, ultimately, destructive guest. Most of the picks were made by Abby, our office’s Abyssinian cat. She’s done very well in the past, so I’ve all hopes she’ll do well tonight.
If you don’t know how this works, I printed out the pictures on UFC.com. I then put a small dab of Whiska’s canned cat food beside each picture, wrote down what happened, and recorded the name of the fighter whose food Abby ate first.
Welterweight – Alvaro “Chango” Herrera vs. Vicente “The Silent Assassin” Luque
Jessica: I gotta go with Luque here, since I think he’s got better experience. Vic gets a first round submission.
Burnsy: I don’t know anything about these people, but since I am a UFC expert and all, I will pick Chango.
Jason: Chango unchained IMO.
A Cat: Analysis: See above.
Pick: Luque
Bantamweight – Reginaldo Vieira vs. Marco Antonio “Psycho” Beltran
Jessica: I’m kinda stuck here. I think both guys have faced fairly similar competition, and I’m far too lazy to watch past fights of early prelim chumps to get a leg up on my picks record. So I guess I’ll go with Vieira to take a decision.
Burnsy: I just saw the name Reginaldo and thought of Reginald VelJohnson and so I put on Die Hard. That’s how my awesome brain works. Vieira wins.
Jason: I’ll take Beltran because he’s crazy.
A Cat: Analysis: Due to Ruffalo’s excitement, we can’t continue. I flipped a coin.
Pick: Vieira
Lightweight – Gilbert “Durinho” Burns vs. Lukasz “Wookiee” Sajewski
Jessica: Of course I have to go for Burns in this one. The entire Burns Family is top notch in my book. Gilbert wins by second round KO.
Burnsy: BURNSY! BURNSY! BURNSY! How is my cousin not main eventing this dumb event?
Jason: Gotta go with Sajewski if everyone else is going to pick Burnsy. I’m here for the win % and nothing more.
A Cat: (At this point, Abby was done with eating, so we asked a patient, the previously mentioned Ruffalo the Poodle if he wanted to pick.)
Analysis: This was a bad idea. Our reception area is awash with slobber, half a can of cat food, and one excited poodle. Still…
Pick: Burns
Bantamweight – Felipe “Sertanejo” Arantes vs. Jerrod “J-Reazie” Sanders
Jessica: Arantes has been up and down in the UFC, but his losses have been to better fighters than the guy Sanders beat. Arantes wins by second round submission.
Burnsy: I’m not picking a guy named J-Reazie, plain and simple.
Jason: I’m taking J-Reazie because I don’t think I’ll ever have another opportunity to write J-Reazie.
A Cat: Analysis: She sat on Sanders’ (Sanders’s?) face and never ate. I flipped a coin.
Pick: Arantes
Bantamweight – Russell Doane vs. Pedro “The Young Punisher” Munhoz
Jessica: Doane lost to Jerrod Sanders, Munhoz beat J-Reazie. I fully know that MMAth is the dumbest thing in the world, but I’m fine using it here. Munhoz wins by first round TKO.
Burnsy: Every time I see the name The Young Punisher, I think of a toddler Frank Castle with an arsenal of Nerf guns, and I love that visual. Munhoz wins.
Jason: I second Burnsy. Young Frank Castle, so full of life. Munhoz!
A Cat: Pick: Doane
Bantamweight – Anthony “El Toro” Birchak vs. Dileno Lopes
Jessica: Birchak has two losses, but I chalk both of them up to he Just Got Caught. Lopes is just kind of a guy, I guess. I’ll take Birchak to win by second round TKO.
Burnsy: Dileno? More like DileYES.
Jason: Birchak. It’s going to work out for him eventually.
A Cat: Analysis: One of my other office cats, Toonces, ate Lopes’ (Lopes’s?) food. So Abby picked…
Pick: Birchak
Lightweight – Mehdi “The Sultan” Baghdad vs. John “The Bull” Makdessi
Jessica: Makdessi is still kind of riding high in my brain from that rad spinning back fist KO back in 2011. I don’t know anything Baghdad has done, so yeah, I’ll stick with The Bull. Makdessi wins by third round TKO.
Burnsy: Makdessi has lost his last two, but they were against great opponents, including a first round bingo bango by Cowboy Cerrone, so this seems to be the perfect rebound fight. Not to get all Cloyd Rivers on everyone, but “The Sultan” Baghdad sounds like a character that just missed the cut on the creative chalkboard for Rocky IV.
Jason: I will always bet against Makdessi. So, Baghdad!
A Cat: Analysis: Once again the Abyssinian picked against her breed’s homeland. Apostate!!!
Pick: Makdessi
Welterweight – Mike “Quicksand” Pyle vs. Alberto “Soldier of God” Mina
Jessica: Mike f’n Pyle is My Dude, always and forever. It takes a guy I know more than whatever an Al Mina is to get me to pick against Quicksand. Pyle wins by second round TKO.
Burnsy: What if Mina is actually a Soldier of God, like a private in heaven’s army or something? I can’t pick against him if that’s the case.
Jason: Yoel Romero is a soldier of god and Rampage is God’s street soldier, so where does Mina place in the hierarchy of god’s fightin’ crew? We’ll find out after Mike Pyle knocks him out! Ohhhh!
A Cat: Analysis: She drooled a lot, but finally picked…
Pick: Pyle
Lightweight – “Irish” Joe Duffy vs. Mitch “Danger Zone” Clarke
Jessica: This seems like a step down for Duffy, even if you factor in the face smashing he suffered from Dustin Poirier. Clarke looks too much like Adult Haley Joel Osment, which isn’t good for face punchin’. Duffy wins by second round KO.
Burnsy: I’m glad to see that Duffy wasn’t given that Terry Conklin treatment and is still earning his place in the UFC. Still, we should expect to hear Conor McGregor’s name more than either of these guys in this fight. The Duffman wins, OH YEAH!
Jason: The UFC wins this fight because it will be an extended commercial for Diaz/McGregor 2. But yeah, Duffy.
A Cat: Analysis: Confession — Abby picked Duffy. I overrode her pick once I saw Mitch Clarke’s (Clarkes’?) nickname was “Danger Zone”.
Pick: Clarke
Welterweight – Alan “Brahma” Jouban vs. Belal “Remember the Name” Muhammed
Jessica: Jouban is too dang pretty, and Muhammed’s nickname is a Fort Minor song. That sh*t don’t fly in 20-by god-16. Jouban wins by first round KO.
Burnsy: The time for handsome fighters has passed. But more than anything, NO ONE mocks Fort Minor on my watch. Muhammed wins thanks to ten percent luck, twenty percent skill, fifteen percent concentrated power of will.
Jason: Jouban seems like the right pick here, but it can go either way. Must stay strong. Nghhhhhhhh Jouban.
A Cat: Analysis: I’m shocked! SHOCKED! I was convinced she’d stick with her Middle Eastern heritage and pick Muhammad (even if @sooziecuzie assures me that his bio says he’s American).
Pick: Jouban
Heavyweight – Roy “Big Country” Nelson vs. Derrick “The Black Beast” Lewis
Jessica: Lewis HITS FRIGGIN’ HARD! Nelson has a solid chin, and good power too, but I think if Lewis starts unloading, he’s going to ruin Roy’s whole entire face situation. Lewis feasts at the Big Country Buffett wins by first round KO.
Burnsy: I love both of these big, dumb brawlers, but Roy’s time is coming to an end. Black Beast is the guy we should all get behind to become a Cinderella champion. He gets the win here, takes on the winner of Hunt/Lesnar (which will be Hunt) and then he gets a title shot, in which we’ll all pray to God he can finish in the first round.
Jason: Derrick Lewis is for real, and he’s just a massive human being, but Roy seems to be a smarter fighter in his old age, and like Jared Rosholt, I think he’s going to pick apart Lewis.
A Cat: Analysis: Probably ruffled from the Ruffalo incident, Abby quickly decided to eat the food off of Derrick Lewis’ (Lewis’s?) face, but kept an eye for bird ambushes from Nelson’s beard.
Pick: Lewis
Lightweight Title – Rafael Dos Anjos vs. Eddie Alvarez
Jessica: EA has kinda squeaked by his last two wins, while RDA has been demolishing dudes for a good while now. Alvarez and his immaculate fade could catch RDA with some Philly hands, but I really want to see RDA versus Khabib 2 for the belt, so I’m going to say that Dos Anjos wins this one. It won’t be a quick blitz, but RDA puts away EA with a third round TKO.
Burnsy: I want RDA to lose, but he won’t. Shouldn’t even be close.
Jason: Eddie Alvarez surprises people. It’s just what he does. But is he too past his prime? Has he taken too much damage in his career? I really think it’s going to be tough, but my gut says Eddie does something crazy, and becomes the first Bellator/UFC champ (he never lost that Bellator belt, y’all).
A Cat: Analysis: This pick took forever. Abby was close to snacking on dos Anjos’ (Anjos’s?) food when a poodle named Ruffalo bounded into the room and destroyed our elaborate setup. I assume outside-cage shenanigans will taint the contest. Therefore…
Pick: Alvarez
Performance of the Night
Jessica: Lewis, Jouban
Burnsy: Burns, Duffy
Jason: Eddie Alvarez, Roy Nelson
Fight of the Night
Jessica: Dos Anjos vs. Alvarez
Burnsy: Duffy vs. Clarke
Jason: Alvarez vs. RDA