Movies

‘Hail To The King,’ We’ve Got ‘Army Of Darkness’ Quotes

If Evil Dead 2 was a balance of horror and comedy, Army of Darkness pretty much tipped the scales, and not in a bad way, mind you. If Ash was a badass at the end of Evil Dead 2, he was a full-fledged superhero by the end of Darkness. Like all good superheroes, Ash has given us a bevy of one-liners and catchphrases that we pepper our conversations with to this day. At least, we do.

Now that we’ve seen what Ash and his new pals will look like in the upcoming Ash vs. Evil Dead TV series, let’s go back and take a look at some of those great lines from Army of Darkness. Give us some sugar, baby.


Ash: “Alright, you primitive screw-heads. Listen up! See this? This… is my boomstick!”

Useful against both British steel and Deadites, this double-barrel, Michigan-made shotgun is only $109.95 at S-Mart. Make sure you shop smart.


Ash: “It’s a trick. Get an axe.”

Important safety tip: If an old lady becomes possessed, starts levitating, and threatens to eat your soul before collapsing to the ground, chances are that she’s just luring you into a trap.


Ash: “Klaatu… barada… nnnnnnn… necktie!”

The old man in the funny hat wasn’t having you repeat those words over and over again for his health, Ash.


Ash: “Good, bad, I’m the guy with the gun.”

In an alternate version of this scene, Ash simply says, “I ain’t that good,” which, while admittedly awesome, isn’t as awesome as what they went with.


Ash: “You ain’t leadin’ but two things right now… jack and sh*t, and jack left town.”

Interesting historical footnote: The real life Duke Henry was actually referred to by man as “Mr. Fancy Pants.”

Actually, that’s made up. Don’t go spreading that around.


King Arthur: “Are all men from the future loud-mouth braggarts?”
Ash: “Nope. Just me, baby… Just me.”

At least he’s being somewhat honest. Gotta admire that.


Ash: “Maybe, just maybe… my boys can protect the book…”

Spoiler alert: Ash is not a Chinese jet pilot.

Ash [to King Arthur]: “You know, your shoelace is untied.”

Further proof that this is, indeed, the oldest trick in the book.


Ash: “We can take these Deadites! We can take ’em! With science!”

Arthur C. Clarke once famously said, “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” Anyway, Ash blows up a bunch of skeletons and runs them over with his car, which is awesome.


Ash: “Lady, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave the store.”

Let’s be fair, considering the lady was possessed and determined to kill everyone there, Ash was pretty polite about it.


Ash: “Groovy.”

And to think, Ash could have gone with any number of words or phrases to express how he felt, but because Ash is awesome, he picked the perfect one.


Ash: “Hail to the king, baby.”

Hail to the king, indeed.

Ash vs. Evil Dead premieres on Starz this fall.

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