There are only three things we expect from the Baywatch movie:
1. Slow-motion beach shots.
2. An impossibly attractive cast.
3. A guest appearance from David Hasselhoff and/or Pamela Anderson.
Let’s see how well the just-released trailer did.
1. There’s a slow-mo joke. Check.
2. The film stars Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Zac Efron, Priyanka Chopra, Alexandra Daddario, Kelly Rohrbach, and Ilfenesh Hadera, so, um, check.
3. Both Hasselhoff and Pam Anderson (who the Rock called “iconic,” “as gorgeous as ever,” and the “#OriginalSmokestack”) are on board.
Baywatch is three-for-three, which must mean it’s going to be the greatest movie of all-time. The big-screen adaptation of the television series of the same name — which was one of the most-watched shows in the world when it ran in syndication throughout the 1990s — was written by Damian Shannon and Mark Swift (they also worked on Freddy vs. Jason) and directed by Seth Gordon. But you don’t really care about that — you’re here to watch California lifeguards prove they’re more brains than beauty, and also to run around without shirts on. There aren’t many details on the plot yet other than what’s in the trailer and, “Baywatch follows devoted lifeguard Mitch Buchannon (Johnson) as he butts heads with a brash new recruit (Efron). Together, they uncover a local criminal plot that threatens the future of the Bay.”