A morally and physically decomposed Michael Keaton, a decrepit office that takes waiting in line for all eternity quite literally, and a teenage girl who embraces a pure, unadulterated Goth lifestyle that can only be found in the 1980s. These are just a few of the components found in Tim Burton’s Beetlejuice that make it a widely considered classic.
While many of the first things that come to mind when thinking of the supernatural comedy are visual, i.e. Beetlejuice wreaking havoc as a deadly carnival, a lot of its best parts came from the script, so here are a few of the best lines from Beetlejuice.
“Ah. Well… I attended Juilliard… I’m a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I’ve seen The Exorcist about a hundred and sixty-seven times, and it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it. Not to mention the fact that you’re talking to A DEAD GUY. Now what do you think? YOU THINK I’M QUALIFIED!?” – Beetlejuice
Barbara and Adam asking Beetlejuice what his qualifications are is sort of like walking into an auto repair shop and asking the mechanic his qualifications when you don’t even know if your car is a four or six-cylinder. Hence the annoyance.
“Don’t you hate it when that happens?” – Beetlejuice
To be fair, Beetlejuice did say he’s seen The Exorcist about a hundred and sixty-seven times. So it’s no surprise he picked up a couple ideas and added his own flare
“Well, I’ve read through that handbook for the recently deceased. It says: ‘Living people ignore the strange and unusual.’ I, myself, am strange and unusual.” – Lydia
“Strange and unusual” and a little bit lonely, one assumes, because she prefers the company of the dead to the living. Somebody needs a Cure Facebook group and a Hot Topic gift card to broaden her social circle and brighten her day.
“I’m feeling a little, uh, anxious, if you know what I mean. It’s been about six hundred years, after all. I wonder where a guy, an everyday Joe like myself, can find a little action.” – Beetlejuice
Please, please note the “Air conditioning” sign on the strip club. Just a nice touch by Tim Burton. Also, I imagine lap dances are off the table for Beetlejuice due to those spikes, but you never know.
“Daaaaaayyyyy-o!” – Harry Belafonte
In this scene, you actually believe that everyone at the table has no control of their bodies as they become a seven-person flash mob and dance to Harry Belafonte’s “Banana Boat Song.” Because the song was made in a time long before music videos were a thing, someone should make a petition to make this the official video. We can photoshop Harry in there somewhere and make sure he gets his cut from Vevo or whomever.
Adam and Barbara get scary.
Not a quote, but a key moment from the film. When Adam and Barbara finally get a grip on what it takes to scare people, they come up with their most creative ideas yet and turn their faces into the things of your nightmares. Sure, this isn’t technically a quote, but it stays with you.
“I’m the ghost with the most, babe.” — Beetlejuice
Keep in mind that after Beetlejuice, we had a cartoon series, toys, actual Beetlejuice, and other assorted pieces of merchandise, but no one ever found a way of boxing up and slapping a price tag on a version of Beetlejuice Charades. Way to drop the ball, guy who worked in merchandising for Universal back in the ’90s.
“It’s showtime.” – Beetlejuice
Beetlejuice made that entire house his playground for a good 15 minutes as he quickly got rid of the people he didn’t want and took the one he did want captive (ignoring the creepiness of this marriage). Given his appreciation for good showmanship, this has pretty much become Beetlejuice’s catchphrase.
“Oh, sounds like Lydia got an ‘A’ on the math test.” – Charles
There’s no such thing as too much Harry Belafonte. He’s pretty much the soundtrack of the whole movie. After hearing what’s probably his most famous song earlier, we get to dance one more time as the family, now composed of the living and dead, alike, celebrates Lydia’s good grades with “Jump in the Line.”
“Whoa, hey! What are you doing? Hey, stop it! Hey, you’re messing up my hair! C’mon! Whoa! Whoa! Stop it! Whoa! Hey… this might be a good look for me.” – Beetlejuice
It’s not clear if Beetlejuice died a second time or what, but we did get to see what became of the ghoul-for-hire after he was eaten by a sandworm. If you want to consider the animated series canon, he somehow got back to the land of the living and became friends with Lydia. I’m not sure when or how Beetlejuice became family-friendly, but it lasted four seasons.
