The greatest film series of all-time, the Fast and the Furious saga, doesn’t have Marvel’s villain problem, but outside of Jason Statham, none of the bad guys are nearly as interesting as our muscly heroes. (Remember Morimoto from The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift? Me neither.) But what about a bad girl?
Charlize Theron, who deserved an Oscar for Mad Max: Fury Road, an Emmy for walking on water, and an “oh, come on” for some recent comments, joined the cast of Fast 8 as Cipher. She’s rumored to be a “proud crime lord who is not in the good books of Toretto’s gang” who “will terrorize the members of Dominic’s gang and extract her revenge.” All while wearing a Metallica v-neck.
This is the part of the post where you think of Metallica/Charlize Theron puns. I’ll begin: “Jump In Theron Fire.” Now it’s your turn. While you’re brainstorming, I’ll note that Fast 8, which is filming in Cuba and the Cuba of America, Cleveland, is the eighth Fast and the Furious movie, obviously. You know what Metallica’s eighth album was? St. Anger. (There’s another almost-pun: “Some Kind of Monster.”) This is not a good sign, unless Dom beats up everyone with the same trash cans Lars Ulrich used to drum on St. Anger.