Movies

Everything Non-Geeks Need To Know About The ‘Deadpool’ Trailer

Last night the Deadpool trailer premiered, and the internet is awash in nerdgasms this morning. But if you’re not a comics fan, you may be slightly lost. So, here’s everything you need to know about Deadpool, his trailer, and his movie.

Who The F*ck Is Deadpool?

Ryan Reynolds! Smart-assed answers aside, he’s Wade Wilson, an elite assassin who signs onto the Weapon X program because his other option is to die. Wilson isn’t terribly stable in the first place, and considering Weapon X’s other big achievement was, well, this:

It’s no wonder that he comes out of the Weapon X process with both a healing factor and with absolutely no marbles left. Then he hires himself out as an assassin, because what else would you do when you’re mentally unstable, heavily armed, and can’t be killed?

Wasn’t Deadpool Already In A Movie?

Yes. It sucked, and Bryan Singer recently erased that movie from existence. We are better for this.

Why Is He Talking To The Camera And Telling Me About Touching Himself?

Deadpool, traditionally, is fully aware he’s a fictional character in whatever medium he happens to be running around in. The part about touching himself is just because he’s a pervert.

Who Else Is In The Cast?

Morena Baccarin as Vanessa Carlysle. In the comics, she’s a shape-shifter Deadpool saves from a pimp, which is likely part of the reason Wade turns up in a strip club. Well, that and Wade likes strip clubs.

Gina Carano as Angel Dust. Look, Marvel has never been subtle, and they were particularly unsubtle in the ’90s.

Andre Tricoteux as Colossus, largely serving as this movie’s thin connection to the rest of the X-Men universe.

Brianna Hildebrand as Negasonic Teenage Warhead, a character mostly popular because Grant Morrison named her after a Monster Magnet song. Considering her big achievement in the comics was as a plot device, we’re not really sure what she’s doing here, and the movie might have just thrown her in because it’s funny to say “Negasonic Teenage Warhead.”

And finally, T.J. Miller as Weasel, Deadpool’s arms dealer — and, apparently, somebody who really enjoys telling people just how damn ugly they are, even if “like a testicle with teeth” really summed it up.

When Is This Movie Out?

This February. In the meantime, see if you can play his video game; it’s similarly wacky and violent.

×