The Fast & Furious franchise is a snowball rolling down a mountain, picking up speed and mass with each revolution. What started as a quaint action movie about street racers stealing DVD players is now a multibillion-dollar franchise that literally just featured a stolen nuclear submarine. And that’s just the action. The cast has grown, too, adding members with each film, to a degree that is borderline comical when you stop to think about it for a few seconds. All of these things are true:
- There is an upcoming spinoff that will star The Rock and Jason Statham, who didn’t even appear until the fifth and seventh (or sixth, if we’re being very technical about it) films in the franchise, and who both started as antagonists but quickly became members of the Family, because if this franchise stops moving for even one moment it will die.
- Gal Gadot, Wonder Woman herself, quite possibly the biggest female action star in the world right now, was in this franchise for a few films and so much has happened since then that no one ever even mentions it.
- The eighth film in the franchise, The Fate of the Furious, introduced Helen Mirren as the mother of Jason Statham’s character, which means that Helen Mirren and Tyrese have now starred in a movie together.
And those are just the most notable things. Kurt Russell is in these movies. Charlize Theron is in these movies. Ludacris appeared in the second movie as a mechanic who officiated jet ski races and now the government lets him use top-secret surveillance equipment to track international criminals. The list goes on and on and keeps growing, as we were reminded recently by the announcement that Idris Elba will appear in that aforementioned Rock/Statham spinoff. Stringer Bell is in these movies now. Because why wouldn’t he be, you know?
The obvious question this all raises is, like, who’s next? There’s a ninth movie coming up after this spinoff and, one presumes, at least a tenth, too. I am on record as saying this franchise will continue until it ends up in outer space. The story is limited only by our imaginations, people. It could go on forever. Dominic Toretto could become President. And as it grows, it will need more characters, on both sides of the law, to oppose Vin Diesel in assorted blood-feuds and then suddenly change course and become his trusted Corona-slugging ally. Lots of them.
Below, I have listed some possibilities and assigned odds to their potential casting. Before you dismiss any of these, please go back and re-read the bullet point about Helen Mirren. And also note that I once joked about the franchise eventually featuring a submarine, only to have it happen a few years later. Nothing is impossible.
Keanu Reeves — 3/2
Probably too high given his commitments to the also-expanding John Wick franchise but think of it this way: Imagine you wake up some day a few weeks from now and see a headline like “Keanu Reeves Signs On For Ninth Fast & Furious Movie.” Are you surprised, even a little? No, you are not. Pleased, definitely. Thrilled, of course. But once you get over the initial few seconds of shock, you’d probably think something like “Yeah, that makes enough sense.”
Again, this is too high. I admit that. Part of this is just me trying to speak it into existence like I did the submarine thing. Let me have this one, okay?
Michael B. Jordan — 4/1
Odds rocket to 1/10 if the franchise announces Ryan Coogler as a future director. This theoretical movie would whomp ass and now I must demand someone make it. Thanks.
Tessa Thompson — 7/1
Tessa Thompson has been great in everything she’s been in, from Creed to Westworld to Thor: Ragnarok. She’d make a great villain, like maybe a corrupt congresswoman who can also drift a bulletproof town car through the streets of D.C.
Priyanka Chopra — 10/1
The case for Priyanka Chopra:
- She is great
- She is a huge star in India and these movies always have one eye on the international market
- She already starred with The Rock in Baywatch
This is terrific value at 10/1.
Christoph Waltz — 10/1
Christoph Waltz delivering a terrifying five-minute monologue with a smile on his face while Vin Diesel sits there in silence with his face contorted into a scowl. Give me this scene.
Mahershala Ali — 15/1
Part of me thinks Mahershala Ali has entirely too much class to appear in a movie about neon Hondas parachuting out of airplanes. But again, the Helen Mirren thing. So maybe. I could see him joining the franchise as Charlize Theron’s lover and associate, making them immediately the most attractive cyber-anarchist couple in the history of the world.
Another Game of Thrones castmember — 15/1
The franchise already has Nathalie Emmanuel but the rest of the Thrones cast will be looking for work soon, too. I could see Maisie Williams as some hotshot teen driver, maybe even another member of the Statham/Mirren family. Maybe even the daughter Statham’s character didn’t know he had. The more I type this out the surer I am it will happen.
Matthew McConaughey — 20/1
Hell yeah.
Jodie Comer — 25/1
Jodie Comer was a revelation as the free spirit assassin in Killing Eve. She might not necessarily want to go from that straight into another assassin-type role, but if she does, this franchise can always use talented actresses who can convincingly wield an automatic weapon. Plus, it would be a really cool come-up for her and I am suddenly very invested in her career after digging the first season of Killing Eve as much as I did.
A Jennifer Lawrence or Amy Adams type — 30/1
So by this I mean “a super-talented actress who does mostly serious work now and has nothing of substance to gain by appearing in the ninth or tenth entry in a franchise about Vin Diesel growling about family while rocketing across the Mississippi River in a muscle car hovercraft or whatever the hell, but might do it anyway because these movies are huge and fun and could open up new opportunities with new audiences.”
Basically what Charlize Theron did.
Jeff Goldblum — 40/1
I can’t decide if this is way too low or way too high. I do know one thing, though: This would be delightful. Did you see him in Thor: Ragnarok? My God. Let’s let Taiki Waititi direct a damn Fast & Furious movie and have Goldblum play… anyone, really.
Someone named Chris — 50/1
Most franchises these days have a Chris. Jurassic World has a Chris. Wonder Woman has a Chris. The MCU has two Chrises. You would think “A Chris” would rank much higher on this list. But let me make two points here:
- The franchise does, in fact, have a Chris, in Chris “Ludacris” Bridges
- The franchise also added Scott Eastwood, who is a handsome white man in his mid-30s with a square jaw and a tight dirty blond hairstyle, all of which makes him basically a Chris from a technical standpoint
No more Chrises needed.
Millie Bobbie Brown — 75/1
Same as the Maisie Williams thing, just a little younger.
Timothee Chalamet — 100/1
A longshot for a bunch of reasons, starting with the fact that he’s kind of branding himself as a serious, young, awards-hunting actor and I don’t know if he wants to take time away from that to argue with Tyrese’s character about the prudence of, like, rappelling off the Eiffel Tower. But I do like the mental image of a newly jacked-up Chalamet screeching up the team in an SUV with a bazooka mounted to the roof all like “I’M BRIX. DOM SENT ME. GET IN IF YOU WANT TO LIVE.”
DMX — 250/1
It’s important to remember that DMX was like thisclose to becoming a big action star. He made a bunch of movies. With him as the star. And the Fast & Furious franchise has a long history of casting rappers, from Ludacris to Bow Wow to Ja Rule. DMX probably would have been in at least one of these already if not for his repeated brushes with the law.
There’s still hope. I will also accept him as a dog breeder in a future John Wick movie. The odds on that one are more like 15/1.
Oprah — 500/1
I believe, with 100 percent certainty, and I would bet any two of my four limbs on it, that Vin Diesel will one day ask Oprah to play the president in a Fast & Furious movie. And I also believe, with 100 percent certainty, and I would bet the other two limbs on it, that when he does he will do so believing in his pure musclebound heart that she will say yes.
She will not. It will crush him.
