‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ Is Bringing The Freaky Nasty To Your Local IMAX Screen

IMAX Theaters Fifty Shades
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In what can be called both a wise strategic decision and a diabolical manipulation of moviegoers, Universal and Focus Features will reportedly be releasing Fifty Shades of Grey on 75 IMAX screens nationwide. The film adaptation of E.L. James’ Twilight message forum erotic fan fiction is poised to have a massive opening weekend, as the combination of Valentine’s Day and Jamie Dornan’s shirtlessness will have Fifty Shades fans lining up for blocks to get the firmest and most absorbent seats in their local theaters. In fact, ticket pre-sales for Fifty Shades accounted for 60 percent of Fandango’s sales last week, with Southern states surprisingly leading the way.

But what sucks hard enough to leave a mark for those people already in possession of tickets is that they’ll have to buy another ticket if they want to catch Dornan’s hot abs rubbing against Dakota Johnson’s inexperienced skin for 20 minutes on a screen built to inspire “size matters” jokes. Speaking of, The Wrap reports that IMAX Entertainment CEO Greg Foster announced the deal in a meeting with investors today, as the theater is trying to broaden the scope of films that are offered in its special theaters. Specifically, Foster cited family-friendly films like Frozen and The Lego Movie that IMAX “missed out on” as the reason for this expansion to non-action and sci-fi films.

However, Fifty Shades could just be a springboard to an idea that I’ve been working on for quite some time – IMAXXX: Porn So Big You’ll Feel Like You’re Watching Giants F*ck. The name needs work, but I think it has spunk.