Movies

Hey Everyone, Guess Where The Next King Kong Movie Takes Place

Yes, that’s right, Detroit.

Okay, so maybe you didn’t guess Detroit. I didn’t, either, and I’m from Michigan. No matter. This little Batman-riding-dinosaurs picture has just leapt to the top my monkeysphere*.

According to J.K. Simmons, who is co-starring in the next King Kong movie that takes place on Skull Island, or at least that was the thinking until this more recent news: the story will take place, at least in some part, in Detroit. In 1971.

Yeah, I dunno, either. For some reason the Gamma Squad thought it was gonna be a 1920’s Jurassic Park, and that was thrilling in its own right. This is sort of a curveball. SPEAKING OF CURVEBALLS:

“[Detroit is] where I grew up,” Simmons said, “and we’re going to shoot in Detroit during baseball season, so I’ll get to go to Tigers games. There’s a lot to like about [making] this movie.” (MTV)

He wouldn’t say much else, other than the new movie will be “an interesting new take” on King Kong. I would’ve settled for Detroit in the 1920’s during prohibition. They could’ve explained how it was really the dinosaurs who invented Canadian Club. AL CAPONE BUYING WHISKY FROM VELOCIRAPTORS. C’mon, it writes itself.

Other changes I propose: That it takes place in Detroit during 1976, and you cast a young Mark Fidrych. You know, because dinosaurs aren’t so much prehistoric lizards as terrifying birds.

BIRDS.

THESE ARE THE JOKES, EVERYONE.

King Kong: Skull Island, or Skull Island, or Kong: Skull Island, or Capone: Dinosaur Hunter (I don’t think anyone’s decided on a real name yet, so, the latter option is still up for grabs) is set for a March 2017 release.

*Apes aren’t monkeys.

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