Most of the time when we talk movies, we celebrate films that are smart, tasteful, elegantly shot, and well-crafted. Then every once in a while you see one that’s silly and hammy and blotchy and kind of dumb, but its heart is in the right place, and you wonder if maybe that’s actually better. I forget who it was that said rock n’ roll is best when it’s almost bad, but the same can be true for movies. No one loves “Louie Louie” because of the clever lyrics and deft musicianship; people love it because of its irrepressible spirit.
Hunter Killer is a dumb movie with a good heart. It stars Gerard Butler, who is kind of like the “Louie Louie” of humans. He’s not the world’s greatest actor, he has neither Schwarzenegger’s brawn nor Tom Hardy’s mesmerizing good looks, and in this particular incarnation, he has a dye job that looks like absolute trash. But damned if I don’t want to watch him save the world with a submarine. He has… something. That glint in his eye. Something that says he’s a bit of a son of a bitch, but maybe he’s the right kind of son of a bitch.
Hunter Killer opens with an American submarine (a “hunter-killer” type attack submarine) shadowing its Russian counterpart underneath the polar ice. Suddenly there’s an explosion aboard the Russian sub, and the American one goes to investigate, only to vanish itself.
Obviously, the Americans — in the form of a level-headed rear admiral played by Common, and a spittle-spraying hawk admiral played by Gary Oldman, in one of his worst performances — need to find out just what the hell is going on down there. They need someone to investigate, but they’re damned near out of submarine captains at this point, so they have to send their most, er, unconventional one.
Smash cut to Gerard Butler as captain Joe Glass bow hunting for elk in the Scottish highlands. It seems he’s some kind of hunter-killer, get it? A camo-clad Glass lines up a glorious 10-pointer with his fancy bow and then… nothing. He lowers the bow. He can’t bring himself to do it. The beast is just too goddamned majestic.