The Craziest Rumors About John F. Kennedy And Marilyn Monroe’s Alleged Affair, Ranked

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John F. Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe are the unwritten rules of baseball of celebrity affairs: It’s not official, but everyone accepts their tryst as fact. It’s been that way since at least 1974, when gossip columnist Earle Wilson published his infamous book, Show Business Laid Bare, which “reveals Hollywoods’s best-kept secrets.” In the 40-plus years since, there’s been an endless supply of “he says, she says, they say” reports about what really happened between Kennedy and Monroe, assuming anything happened at all. Here are some of the best rumors:

1. Frank Sinatra’s Sex Shack

It’s no “sex pit,” but Monroe and Kennedy hooked up at Frank Sinatra’s rental house just outside of Los Angeles. That’s according to owner Jim Fox, who, reports WFLA, “heard about the ‘trysts’ from a family friend who owned the adjacent property.” The 12,740-square-foot residence, dubbed “Farralone,” was on sale for $7.5 million earlier this year and has been featured in TV shows like Mad Men and Californication and even Usher music videos. But it’s most notable, to perverts at least, for the on-site guesthouse (with its own pool!) that Ol’ Blue Eyes rented out to Monroe, who reportedly used it as her get-it-on-spot with JFK.

2. JFK: Senator, President, Premature Ejaculator

President of the United States of America isn’t an easy job. The hours are long, at least half the country hates you, and everyone is always watching you. Sometimes, even the people who you think you can trust will gab to a newspaper columnist about how underwhelming you are in the sack. After a night spent with JFK, who prematurely ejaculated and “made love like an adolescent,” Monroe allegedly told writer James Bacon about how disappointing the sex was. Bacon responded, “He’s too busy running the country to be bothered about being good in bed.”

3. “Hello, It’s Marilyn, May I Speak To Jackie?”

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In his book, These Few Precious Days: The Final Year of Jack with Jackie, author Christopher Andersen wrote that Monroe called Kennedy’s wife and first lady, Jacqueline, about their affair. Jackie was very aware of her husband’s infidelities, and the one that upset her the most was Marilyn, “in large part because Marilyn was a loose cannon who could go public at any time, causing a scandal that would obliterate her husband’s reputation, destroy her marriage, and hold her up to public ridicule.” Monroe phoned the first lady and told her how President Kennedy promised to get hitched to her. Jackie replied, “Marilyn, you’ll marry Jack, that’s great… and you’ll move into the White House and you’ll assume the responsibilities of first lady, and I’ll move out and you’ll have all the problems.” Got 99 problems, and a cheating husband is one of them.

4. Marilyn And The Mafia

Marilyn Monroe’s official cause of death was “acute barbiturate poisoning,” but that hasn’t stopped theorists from more-than-suggesting that she was murdered, with a cover-up that goes all the way to the top. Darwin Porter’s book Marilyn at Rainbow’s End makes the claim that “five mafia hoodlums working under orders from mob boss Sam Giancana carried out the hit” on Monroe, who was considering going public with her affair. Who paid them? Why Robert F. Kennedy, of course, who first became involved with Marilyn after his brother “passed her on.”

5. Head Of The Class

Is there anyone more trusty than a memorabilia collector looking to make a quick buck? There’s not, so you’ll have to take Keya Morgan at his word when he says that he owns a $1.5 million tape of Marilyn Monroe giving an unidentified man a 15-minute blowjob, and that FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover “went to great lengths to try to prove it was Kennedy in the film.”

“The FBI agent that I interviewed said J. Edgar Hoover was completely obsessed. A team of nine individuals were analyzing the tape inside a lab. J. Edgar Hoover brought in a few prostitutes who allegedly had been with President Kennedy and they tried to…see if that was really President Kennedy.” (Via)

I bet Ted Kennedy was filming.

6. Threesome’s Company

Not only was Monroe linked with JFK, but she also supposedly had a threesome with him and his brother, Robert F. Kennedy. The footage exists, claims “memorabilia fanatic” William Castleberry, but he never released it out of respect for Yankees legend and Monroe’s second husband Joe DiMaggio. Castleberry was going to auction the tape for at least $200,000, but it was taken off the market after a debt he owed was mysteriously paid off. “Mysteriously.”