Johnny Depp may be having the worst week ever. Granted, he’s not facing life-threatening atrocities or suffering in a refugee camp, but in the grand spectrum of Deppness, he’s experienced a real doozy. His wife of 15 months, Amber Heard, filed for divorce only days after his mother’s death from a prolonged illness. And he’s currently tasked with promoting the second Alice in Wonderland movie, which means he can’t do what normal people do in this instance — grab the nearest bottle of alcohol and fall in love with the couch. Naturally, no one knows what went wrong with his marriage, but it’s fair to describe the divorce filing’s timing as uncomfortable.
Meanwhile, Depp’s ongoing feud with Australia shows no signs of ending. Depp’s been exchanging fighting words with Barnaby Joyce, the country’s deputy prime minister and agriculture minister, for weeks. The trouble began last August with the rise of “Terriergate.” This turned into an international fiasco after Heard smuggled two dogs down under while Depp filmed one of those Pirates of the Caribbean movies. The violation of quarantine laws saw Heard dragged into court, and the couple finally repented with the most awkward apology video of all time.
For awhile, folks mulled over whether the couple was trolling (after all, these two are actors) with Depp’s performance seeming particularly jarring. Well, he cleared all that up a few weeks ago while promoting Alice 2 in London. Depp interrupted a press conference to toss out an obviously fake apology and an unsavory joke about killing his dogs. This week, he visited Jimmy Kimmel to pull a similar stunt and criticize Joyce’s looks: “He looks somehow inbred with a tomato.” Depp added that he hasn’t watched his original apology video “because I didn’t want to kill myself.”