A New ‘Kingsman: The Secret Service’ Trailer Is Here Because Everything Mark Millar Does Must Be Adapted

After waiting four months and pushing the movie to next Valentine’s Day weekend as a (mostly) bondage-free alternative to Fifty Shades Of Grey, Fox has released the second trailer for Kingsman: The Secret Service. It’s an adaptation of the comic written by Mark Millar (Kick-Ass) and illustrated by Dave Gibbons (Watchmen). It was adapted by director Matthew Vaughn (X-Men: First Class, Kick-Ass) and Jane Goldman (Kick-Ass).

The film stars Colin Firth as a seemingly mild-mannered English secret agent who will teach you some manners with an umbrella. Oh, stereotypes. Kingsman also stars Taron Egerton (as Firth’s obnoxious nephew/protégé), Michael Caine, Mark Strong, Sophie Cookson, Mark Hamill (playing himself as a kidnapping victim, I believe), and Samuel L. Jackson channeling Russell Simmons.

This might be a funny sendup of spy-recruitment movies, or it could end up being another bland entry in the genre. We’re still not sure after reading the official synopsis:

Based upon the acclaimed comic book and directed by Matthew Vaughn (Kick Ass, X-Men First Class), Kingsman: The Secret Service tells the story of a super-secret spy organization that recruits an unrefined but promising street kid into the agency’s ultra-competitive training program just as a global threat emerges from a twisted tech genius.

And this summary from The Playlist doesn’t help either:

The world’s greatest secret agent is on the most exciting case of his career. But will the end of the world as know it take a back seat to training his street-punk nephew to be the next James Bond? meanwhile, what’s the secret link between a series of kidnapped sci-fi stars, the murder of an entire town, and a dark secret from inside Mount Everest? Under Uncle Jack’s supervision, Gary’s spy skills and confidence blossom–but when the duo learn what’s behind the celebrity kidnappings, the knowledge comes at a price. The conspiracy begins to unravel, but who can be trusted when so many prominent figures seem to be involved? It’s a must-be-seen-to-be-believed action spectacle!

The last line of that description makes me want to punch a baby giraffe in the larynx. At least the trailer looks okay.

Via The Playlist

[Note: A previous draft of this post included an unofficial synopsis. The studio has requested we include the official synopsis, added above.]