Michael Douglas Has Revealed The Key To His Success: The Size Of His Penis

When taking note of a matinee idol’s striking features, one may point to the sharp jawline of Brad Pitt, or the twinkling eyes of Paul Rudd. In cinema, it’s the face that tells the story. For legendary thespian Michael Douglas, however, one must travel farther south, below the meridian and toward the man-meat.

“I have a big dick,” said Douglas.

Let’s put some context around this, although that as a standalone statement is pure gold. Vanity Fair‘s George Wayne caught up with Douglas at a party Monday after a screening of the actor’s newest film, Ant-Man. When asked about the certain characteristic he might maintain in the vein of his father’s cleft chin, and Omar Sharif’s gapped teeth, Douglas retorted the above answer.

It’s not hard to imagine that the playboy broker from Wall Street has a hanging dang-a-lang, nor is it difficult to manifest images of Douglas in Basic Instinct sans a hefty schlong. In fact, Douglas having a weighty member makes sense. It just does. How else can you explain the narcissistic aura Douglas has carried in his cinematic career? It’s all about that fifth appendage, folks. One thing’s for certain, Catherine Zeta-Jones hit the genetic jackpot.