Oil Yourselves Up And Check Out These New Clips From ‘Magic Mike XXL’

Good news, LAAAAAAAAAAAAAWBREAKERS: We’re in the Magic Mike XXL home stretch. The highly-anticipated sequel to 2012’s male stripper smash hit finally opens across the nation like a pair of sweaty leather chaps next week, and it’s safe to say that it’s going to earn a box office fortune, one wrinkled dollar bill at a time. Star Channing Tatum, whose early years as a male stripper are the basis for this franchise, has been making the rounds this week and charming the panties out of everyone, even when dumping all over his first blockbuster, but Warner Bros. has done a really great job of not revealing too much of the fun in Magic Mike XXL.

But just like a male stripper, Warner knows how to tease its fans by rubbing the girth of the story developments of Mike, Big Dick Richie, Ken, and Tarzan all over their eyes and chests. That’s why we’re being treated to not one, not two, not even three or four, but FIVE new clips from Magic Mike XXL ahead of next week’s hot, steamy release. So help me God, if any of these clips spoils the Ric Flair scene, I will only write strongly above average praise of this film from here on out.

First, let’s check in with Donald Glover’s character and find out how he got into this game and why he loves it…

Seriously, I love how honest these characters seem and how they’re not cartoons. They seem like bros you know, like that dude who sat next to you in College Algebra for two weeks and then never showed up again. But the more important question is can Mike get his head out of the custom furniture game and focus on the flesh-grinding at hand?

If you watch that clip and don’t laugh at Joe Manganiello’s ridiculous acting and a line like, “iPhone is bye phone,” then you can’t sit between me and the 50-year old divorcees on Wednesday night.

Start the Best Supporting Actor campaign for Joey Wolfman right now. Then, let’s focus on a Big Dick Richie spin-off and maybe even a TV series. This guy is the best. This is about dancing, though, so let’s show the ladies what they’re in for come… (long pause) Wednesday.

Finally, a glimpse of the big showdown, when Mike and the Bulge Boys show the world (actually, Myrtle Beach, but who’s keeping track?) what they’re made of.

Look at that damn grin. That’s a man who got his beginning in male stripping and is now becoming legend with movies about male stripping. Started from the (horny lady’s) bottom, now C-Tates is here.