Christmas miracles are real. Don’t believe me? Then you clearly haven’t seen the trailer for Pottersville, a movie that begs the question, “How has it taken this long to fit ‘drunk Michael Shannon’ and ‘Bigfoot’ into the same headline?” It also asks, “Wait, why is this Hallmark Christmas movie being released in theaters, and what damaging information do the producers have on Christina Hendricks, Judy Greer, Thomas Lennon, Ian McShane, and Ron Perlman?”
Pottersville stars Michael Shannon — that’s two-time Oscar nominee Michael Shannon — as (I’m going to quote the official plot summary here, because it’s too good) a “beloved local businessman who is mistaken for the legendary Bigfoot during an inebriated romp through town in a makeshift gorilla costume. The sightings set off an international Bigfoot media spectacle and a windfall of tourism dollars for a simple American town hit by hard times.”
Move over, “Teacher says every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings,” because there’s a new iconic Christmas movie quote. And it’s Al Swearengen yelling, “Am I the only one here who doesn’t want to hump Bigfoot?” Yes.
Pottersville — which was directed by Seth Henrikson and written by Daniel Meyer — opens in theaters on November 17, assuming it’s a real movie.