Report: Chris Martin Bought A Massage For Gwyneth Paltrow, Who Was Wearing UGGs

Is Coldplay frontman Chris Martin getting back together with noted white person Gwyneth Paltrow — who couldn’t get a job at Yahoo (where I used to work, FYI)? Maybe! According to a report from Page Six today, Martin bought Paltrow — who was wearing UGGs at the time, because of course she was — a massage over the weekend IN THE HAMPTONS.

Reports Page Six:

A source saw the couple stopping into Naturopathica health spa in East Hampton, where a witness said Martin “paid for her spa treatment and left for an hour until Paltrow, clad in sweats and Ugg boots, finished her massage.”

Our spy also said Paltrow was texting on her phone, and when Martin curiously inquired whom his estranged wife was communicating with, she replied “Blythe Danner” — referring, rather formally, to her own mother.

So what have we learned here? Well, Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow are obviously boning because guys don’t buy massages for UGG-wearing ladies they’re not boning. No one denies this.

Also, Gwyneth Paltrow refers to her mom when asked who she’s texting in the same way one might when asked for the name of a good dentist. “Blythe Danner. She pulled my wisdom teeth. Gave me some extra morphine. So she’s cool.”

(Via Defamer)