Shia LaBeouf Wrote An Essay About Every Time He’s Been Arrested

Getty Image

The first time Shia LaBeouf was incarcerated, he was 9. He stole a pair of Nike Cortez sneakers, which, understandable. He was arrested again two years later, when he treated himself to a Game Boy Pokémon from Kmart without paying for it. And so it goes, up to his recent public intoxication in Austin, Texas. LaBeouf, actor/performance artist/plagiarist/motivational speaker, covered all his imprisonments, minus the Austin one, in a new book, Prison Ramen, in which he contributed the essay “Error Breeds Sense.”

“The third time I was 20, in Van Nuys, California. I tried to stab my neighbor and spent two days in jail. While I was there, I at least understood that being in jail is not the move. It sucks ass.” (Via E! online)

It’s the Disturbia of moves. Because they both suck ass, you see.

“The fourth time I was in Chicago and I wouldn’t leave Walgreen’s, so I was taken to spend the night in jail. For some reason, I had the best sleep ever,” he writes. “The most recent time was 2014, when I was 28 and in New York City. I went to see the play Cabaret. I didn’t behave very well during the performance and ended up spending 25 hours or so behind bars…” (Via E! online)

Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like LaBeouf brought up the time someone yelled “where’s Bumblebee now?” while he was getting beat up outside a bar. I could read a 90,000-word oral history on that great moment in history.

(Via E! Online)

Now Watch: Do These Conspiracy Theories Prove Tupac Is Still Alive?