We Played A Bunch Of ‘Star Wars’ Board Games And Here’s How That Went

There’s going to be no attempt of some grand pronouncement for my love of board games. I don’t really have that. A couple of years ago I bought a few based on old television shows at a flea market – then we’d play those at a bar because I thought it was funny to play board game versions of The Fall Guy and Barney Miller at a bar. (For the record, the Barney Miller board game is very complicated. And you can plays as every Barney Miller character except for Barney Miller.)

Anyway, a bunch of Star Wars board games showed up at my apartment. My first thought was to give the away, but I didn’t know who wanted them. So there they sat in the corner, until I decided to play them. So now I will report, to you, about playing all these Star Wars-ized versions of popular board games and present it as a handy gift guide for people who love board games and Star Wars. (I know you are out there.) And as a bonus, I also played the original Star Wars game, Escape From Death Star. Here’s how all of that went.

(In other words, I forced my girlfriend and friends to play these games with me at bars, when in reality all they wanted to do is sip their alcohol in peace and temporarily make make the pain of what is 2016 fade away. I am eternally grateful to them and I am probably a monster.)

Star Wars Risk

Okay, first of all, this game is insanely complicated, but once everyone has the rules down, it’s pretty fun. Second of all, this game is barely Risk. I assumed there would be some sort of planets that had to be occupied, mirroring the territories in normal Earth Risk. Instead, it’s an attack on the Death Star. If you play as the Empire, the game is fairly straightforward: destroy all the Rebel ships by rolling the dice and hitting the predetermined high numbers needed to destroy them with either TIE Fighters, a Star Destroyer, or the Death Star.

The Rebels have a little tougher objective: they have to both get near enough the the Death Star to take a shot at it, and play a side game to take out the shield generator so that shot can be taken on the first place. Complicating things more, there’s another side game in which Luke and Vader are fighting. Whoever wins this fight gets to take four turns in a row, which can make a huge difference.

We played twice (yes, at a bar) and I was the Empire both times. I got lucky with a few Death Star strikes (rolling a high enough number to destroy a whole battalion of Rebel ships) and I’m proud to report that the Galactic Empire fended off the Rebel Alliance both times and is still in charge of the galaxy. You’re welcome.

Star Wars Trivial Pursuit

This is pretty straightforward: It’s Trivial Pursuit, only with questions about Star Wars — which now includes questions for The Force Awakens.