We’ve covered a fair share of “clueless dads explain pop culture” over the years. There’s the father who tried to name every Game of Thrones character after watching the season three finale, and another one who attempted the same thing after the first season. Okay, so maybe Game of Thrones is too complicated for Internet Dads. Maybe Star Wars is more their speed.
On her Tumblr, Letícia Piroutek shared an intriguing Kylo Ren theory her father came up with after watching The Force Awakens, which made all the money. As far as crackpot conjectures goes, it’s not half-bad.
Spoilers, obviously, and all-caps, unfortunately.
OK SO WE GOT OUT OF OUR SECOND THE FORCE AWAKENS SHOWING AND MY DAD WAS DRIVING US HOME AND OUT OF NOWHERE HE WAS LIKE: ………………….oh my god. w HAT IF KYLO REN CHOSE TO GO TO THE DARK SIDE SO HE COULD HELP THE LIGHT SIDE! AND I WAS LIKE WHAT! SO HE WAS LIKE HEAR ME OUT WHAT IF HE WENT TO THE DARK SIDE JUST SO HE COULD KILL SNOKE!!!!
AND THATS WHY HE’S SO CONFLICTED, AND THATS WHY HE FEELS THE TEMPTATION OF THE LIGHT SIDE STRONGER THAN THE DARK!!!!!
THATS WHY HE TALKS TO VADER’S HELMET, BECAUSE HE IS GONNA FINISH WHAT ANAKIN, THE CHOSEN ONE, STARTED!!!
HE HAD TO COMPLETELY TURN AWAY FROM HIS FAMILY IN ORDER TO DO THAT! TO BECOME A SITH FULLY AND COMPLETELY YOU HAVE TO SACRIFICE SOMEONE YOU LOVE TO DEATH, IN HIS CASE IT WAS HAN!
He “sacrificed” someone we ALL loved to death.
THATS WHY HE TELLS HAN HE FEELS LIKE HE’S BEING TORN APART INSIDE, BECAUSE HE DOESN’T WANT TO DO IT AT ALL, BUT IT’S THE ONLY POSSIBLE WAY TO BECOME A SITH AND COMPLETE HIS TASK!!!!! KYLO LITERALLY UTTER THE WORDS “WILL YOU HELP ME” TO HAN, AND HAN SAYS “ANYTHING YOU NEED” (OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT I CANT REMEMBER)! WHAT HE’S ASKING IS IF HAN WILL DIE IN ORDER FOR HIM TO COMPLETE HIS FUCKING TASK
THATS WHY IT LOOKED LIKE HE KNEW WHO REY WAS, BECAUSE HE NEEDS TO PROTECT HER THATS WHY HE OFFERS HER TO BE HER TEACHER, HE NEEDS SOMEONE AS POWERFUL AS REY IT’LL BE LITERALLY THE DARK SIDE AND THE LIGHT SIDE JOINING UP TO DEFEAT ONE ENEMY TOGETHER AS ONE, WHICH IS BASICALLY WHAT THE FORCE IS.
THEY LIVE SIDE BY SIDE IN IT THATS WHY HE’S SO CONFLICTED ALL THE TIME, THATS WHY HIS FIGHT STYLE ISNT LIKE A SITH’S AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!
Kylo learned to fight from an overactive child having a temper tantrum. Anyway, Piroutek ended her posting by adding: “HAN DYING WOULDNT BE FOR NOTHING, HE LITERALLY DIED SO HIS FAMILY COULD FINISH SAVING THE GALAXY. REY, KYLO, LUKE, LEIA, FINN AND POE ARE GONNA DESTROY THE LAST SITH TOGETHER AND BRING BALANCE TO THE FORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Use of exclamation marks aside, a lot of what she, via her dad, theorized makes sense. Star Wars is a redemption tale, and there’s enough humanity left in Kylo for him to eventually join the heroes (Han dying was for the greater good; lose the battle, win the war, etc.). It’s also a nice twist, and considering Episode VII played “someone is someone else’s son” card, Episodes VIII and IX will have to attempt something new.
My Force Awakens theory: R2-D2 is the real villain. Discuss.