Movies

This Week’s Coming Attractions: Matt Damon Is A Different Kind Of Badass In ‘The Great Wall’ Trailer

Obviously, with Comic-Con 2016 having just come and gone like a massive tornado of nerd-focused marketing, we have more trailers than we know what to do with this week. We’ve already seen Justice League, Wonder Woman, Doctor Strange, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Blair Witch, Suicide Squad, King Arthur, Lego Batman, Kong: Skull Island, and probably more that I cannot even think of off the top of my head. That’s a lot of trailer footage to watch, and I wouldn’t blame anyone who might have trailer fatigue at this point if they can’t go on.

But you must go on. Because we also have two new trailers that feature Matt Damon and Ben Affleck trying to out-badass each other, and that’s always fun. Those silly BFFs are always having weird adventures, and in our first trailer of this week’s round-up, Damon is really giving Jimmy Kimmel some brand-new material.

The Great Wall

Directed by: Yimou Zhang

Starring: Matt Damon, Willem Dafoe, Pedro Pascal (Oberyn “The Model, sorry, The Viper” Martell from Game of Thrones)

What’s it about?

A mystery centered around the construction of the Great Wall of China. [IMDB]

Matt Damon is looking like Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai got mashed up with Legolas in what is reportedly the most expensive Chinese movie ever made. Even pricier than Taste the Golden Spray. The budget is somewhere between $135 million and $160 million, so let’s just assume that expectations are high on this one. It hits theaters Feb. 17, 2017, so we might consider that a red flag, but it seems that Hollywood is finally bucking the Jan/Feb graveyard trend with the realization that blockbusters can thrive earlier in the year. Still, let’s say The Great Wall comes in at the low estimate of $135 million. That is A LOT of money to make up, but this thing will probably kill at the Chinese box office, so don’t lose any sleep over it.

The Accountant

Directed by: Gavin O’Connor

Starring: Ben Affleck, Anna Kendrick, J.K. Simmons, John Lithgow, Jon Bernthal

What’s it about?

A forensic accountant un-cooks the books for illicit clients. [IMDB]

We’ve already seen the previous trailer for The Accountant, but this is like the ULTIMATE BADASS CUT (*air guitar, finger guns*). Affleck is a lot of fun when he plays the tough guy, and in this he’s mixing things up like A Beautiful Mind meets The Punisher. In fact, when we see Bernthal’s face in the trailer for a split second, he looks like he’s upset that he’s not the one on a killing rampage. Don’t worry, buddy, just make it up to us on Netflix. The Accountant does your taxes TO DEATH on Oct. 14.

The Edge of Seventeen

Directed by: Kelly Fremon

Starring: Hailee Steinfeld, Blake Jenner, Haley Lu Richardson, Woody Harrelson

What’s it about?

High-school life gets even more unbearable for Nadine when her best friend, Krista, starts dating her older brother. [IMDB]

We just watched the red band trailer for this movie last week, but I’m including the new TIFF trailer because, again, Harrelson is so much fun in it. I love when he’s an unapologetic dickhead (which is just about all the time, I know, but I like it… sue me). Turn Seventeen on Sept. 30.

Hacksaw Ridge

Directed by: Mel Gibson

Starring: Teresa Palmer, Andrew Garfield, Sam Worthington

What’s it about?

WWII American Army Medic Desmond T. Doss, who served during the Battle of Okinawa, refuses to kill people and becomes the first Conscientious Objector in American history to be awarded the Medal of Honor. [IMDB]

This looks beautiful and emotionally powerful, and we know that Gibson loves his war movies, so we can be sure that he’s putting all of his explosive best into the violence and brutality of his battle scenes. But I just cannot get past Garfield’s accent, you guys. My, oh my, he sounds like a high-school theater actor trying a Southern drawl for the first time, and maybe his voice is perfect and exactly what the role called for, but it’s just so distracting. Hacksaw Ridge invades awards season on Nov. 4.

Ithaca

Directed by: Meg Ryan

Starring: Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Sam Shepard

What’s it about?

Fourteen-year-old Homer Macauley is determined to be the best and fastest bicycle telegraph messenger anyone has ever seen. His older brother has gone to war, leaving Homer to look after his widowed mother, his older sister and his 4-year-old brother, Ulysses. And so it is that as spring turns to summer, 1942, Homer Macauley delivers messages of love, hope, pain… and death… to the good people of Ithaca. And Homer Macauley will grapple with one message that will change him forever. Based on Pulitzer Prize-winning author William Saroyan’s 1943 novel, The Human Comedy, ITHACA is a coming-of-age story about the exuberance of youth, the abruptness of change, the sweetness of life, the sting of death, and the sheer goodness that lives in each and every one of us. [IMDB]

It’s so nice to see Hanks and Ryan reunited. They should be required by law to appear in one movie together each year, just so we can all smile and secretly wish they’d gotten married in real life so many years ago. As for the story, it sounds a little cheesy, but I think we can use cheesy and heartwarming tales of inspiration right now. Especially if they’re honest and not manipulative. Ithaca delivers on Oct. 23.

And now, hands down, my pick for trailer of the week, month, and – yes, I am going to call it now – the year…

Pup Star

Directed by: Robert Vince

Starring: Kaitlyn Maher, Christina Sicoli, Jed Rees

What’s it about?

A Yorkshire terrier, competing in a televised singing competition, is separated from her owner by an opportunist dog-pound worker. [IMDB]

This trailer is amazing. The 2:07 mark might be my favorite movie moment of 2016. The end. Pup Star is straight-to-video and let’s all watch it immediately.

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