The ‘Last Knights’ Trailer Is The Latest Evidence That Clive Owen Should Fire His Agent

 

I love Clive Owen. He’s one of the few actors with that rare combination of masculinity and acting ability that allow him to play anything from rom-com to action hero without it feeling like a joke. But he either has terrible luck, makes horrible career choices, or employs an agent who should be fired into the sun. Since Children of Men, he’s been in Elizabeth 2, The International, Duplicity, Trust, Killer Elite, Intruders… any of these ringing a bell? When he started The Knick I was convinced it was the beginning of his climb back to the A-list, but now here he is playing a mercenary knight in Last Knights.

Job one for any good agent should be keeping his/her client out of any movies with knight/night puns in the title In any case, in a role that looks like it was tailor-made for bankruptcy-era Nic Cage, Owen plays a sullen medieval badass who runs around in a chain mail motorcycle jacket protecting Master Morgan Freeman Von Silly Beard from  Generic Effeminate Guy. Generic Effeminate Guy seems serious, but luckily, Clive Owen the Motorcycle Knight has a secret weapon: A lady with a map painted on her back.

I wonder if he stole her from Kevin Costner’s boudoir. This was the saddest part of the trailer:

Yeesh, way to rub salt in the wound there, Lionsgate.

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