In December, we brought up the fact that Dragon Blade exists. What’s a Dragon Blade, you ask? According to the promotional material, it’s a Chinese film about a corrupt Roman ruler’s attempt to claim the Silk Road — the region’s major trade route, and not that Silk Road — for himself, and it all rests on a big-budget movie’s level of historical accuracy. But it made a sh*tload of money in China, so whatever.
Oh, I forgot to mention — it stars Jackie Chan, John Cusack and Adrien Brody. Chan and Cusack are, according to the latest trailer, brothers-in-arms. Meanwhile, Brody is the bad guy, and we know this because of his Adam Levine-like beard styling.
Honest to God, this looks way too much like Uwe Boll’s cinematic classic In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, but it’s not like I have to leave my home to see it. Dragon Blade hits VOD stateside on September 4.