Over the course of eight increasingly less self-aware seasons of Entourage, Vincent Chase, the alpha dog of douchebags, wasted a ton of money on his pals Johnny Comedy, Meth, and Talkin’ About Turtle. They were mooches, unable to financially support themselves. Was Entourage, the movie which opens today, actually a damning satire of our country’s broken welfare system? Yes, and Sex and the City was Communist propaganda on the dangers of capitalism (and brunch).
Turtle is potentially the most indebted friend, with a sample debt of $423,366 for his chauffeur service – but with the addition of the $250,000 Ferrari gift from Vince from Season 6, he owes a total of $673,366.
Drama’s sample debt is largely due to his weekly cooking supply needs: He owes about $480,047 for his chef service in keeping the guys fed.
As the most business savvy friend, E’s sample debt is the most modest: he’s indebted $339,300 for his participation in night life and entertainment with the guys. (Via BroBible)
That’s $1.5 million total, not including that unaired episode where Turtle gets hooked on White Castle burgers and Vince has to pay for his rehab. Harrowing stuff. But — spoiler alert — everything turns out OK because, Vinnie and the boys? They’re gonna live forever.
R.I.P. Ass Turtle.