Another day, another ironic story about Nickelback keeping the band alive and thriving. Jesse Carey of the Relevant podcast recently set a simple goal for a great cause – he wanted to raise $10,000 so that he could build a well for Charity: Water, a non-profit that provides clean and safe drinking water for developing nations. The organization’s website makes it incredibly easy for supporters to sign up for their own campaigns, as people all over the world can raise money in unique ways. Carey’s campaign featured a simple theme that often brings strangers together over a mutual dislike, as he promised to listen to nothing but Nickelback for 168 hours, beginning yesterday and ending on Friday.
Question: Why 24/7 of Nickelback?
Answer: Because it is the ultimate test of human endurance. I’m willing to put my personal health at risk for the challenge. Obviously, exposure to such a large quantity of Nickelback is very dangerous.
Question: Jesse, have you consulted a doctor?
Answer: Yes, several in fact. They have all said that such an endeavor could result in irreversible damage to my ears, brain, kidneys and soul.
Question: Is listening to this much Nickelback even legal?
Answer: To my understanding, most jurisdictions frown on listening to more than 4 Nickelback songs back-to-back. I have retained several lawyers in case some hot-shot prosecutor decides to press charges. (Via Charity: Water)
So have people really been forking over cash all because a guy is “torturing” himself with some crappy Canadian cock rock that millions of people still inexplicably love? You bet your “Rock Star” humming ass they are. As of post time, Carey’s campaign has raised $16,452 from 441 generous donors, and that’s not even all that impressive, because Carey’s goal was reached three days before he even had to press play.
Does that mean that he can stop listening to “Photograph” and start enjoying any other music that will cleanse his mind and soul? No sir. He made a promise, and a promise he must keep.
The white-hot passion for this endeavor continues to rage like an unstoppable fire. With three days until the beginning of the Nickelback Challenge, we have already surpassed the $10,000 mark. I’m blown away by everyone’s generosity! Because of these donations, the project will fully fund a well.
HOWEVER, it is critical that donations continue to pour in for the work of charity:water to raise my spirits as I explore the limits of mental fragility by subjecting my mind and soul to a weeklong Nickelback onslaught.
As much as we all bag on Nickelback for being the rock n roll equivalent of low-fat vanilla ice cream, I still think Creed is far worse. I mean, Scott Stapp recorded that song for the Miami Marlins and fans are still too scared to attend their games. That’s how awful they were.