Popular recording artist and stage chat champion of the world Adele has no problem stomping out “f*ckin’ stupid rumors.” (Or “f*ckin’ stupid rumours,” we suppose.) That’s part of the glorious package with the miracle of Adele. She’s mega-talented, mega-charming and her tolerance for bullsh*t is heroically low.
On Saturday night, Adele addressed two rumors at once during her Los Angeles tour stop. Contrary to what you may have heard, Adele is 1) not pregnant and 2) not the crown jewel of the upcoming Super Bowl halftime show. It’s not hard to understand why the National Football League (the corporation that has enabled Jeff Fisher’s divorced dad facial hair for ages) would want the platinum magnet, but Adele told the Staples Center that she turned the high-profile Houston gig down.
“First of all, I’m not doing the Super Bowl,” she said. “Well, come on, that show is not about music. And I don’t really — I can’t dance or anything like that. They were very kind, they did ask me, but I said no.”
As you can see from crowd shot footage nestled at the top of the post, the concertgoers weren’t exactly discreet in hiding their disappointment. She’s not wrong, of course. It’d be a bit strange seeing Adele knock out “Rolling in the Deep” or “Hello” or (heart be still) a medley as a bunch of goofy actors in Pepsi jackets perform Up With People choreography on the field below. We imagine Duffy is desperately refreshing her email as we speak.
Adele also mentioned that she’ll be doing a “dance album” with her next go-around which is either extremely exciting news (imagine the bangers!) or a joking throwaway line. Either way, it’s something that’s nice to imagine for extended stretches of time.
So where will the Super Bowl go next for their 2017 halftime attraction? Back to the old rock dudes? Maybe another pop megastar? Could they lean into country for Texas? Maybe we should just cut out the middleman and beg the NFL to keep Beyoncé on retainer.