Summer music festival season is in full swing. Coachella is the rearview mirror, Governor’s Ball is still fresh in our minds, and Bonnaroo is warming up in the on-deck circle with Firefly close behind. If spending a weekend with several thousand of your closest, sweatiest friends is your idea of a damn good rodeo, then this is a good time for you. Just make sure you hydrate. That’s all we ask.
When lineups are released for festivals, they’re fun to look at, pour over, and analyze through a variety of filters. They invite a series of questions. Who’s headlining? Who interests you most? Which acts should be higher up on the poster than the are? Who are…wait, those people are still playing?
Sometimes it can be a little much, a little too time-consuming. Sometimes you just need to have a little fun with the lineup, and leave the heavy lifting of planning your festival trips for later.
With that in mind, we decided to play a little word association, using acts from the five biggest festivals as inspiration. The important thing was to put as little thought as possible goes into it and just go with whatever off the top of the dome.
Coachella
Ryan Adams: Doesn’t care for your robot music.
Alabama Shakes: Moonshine withdrawal.
Jack White: Possibly a vampire.
Panda Bear: Blues band (cause nothing’s more blues-worthy than being endangered).
Azealia Banks: Never met a Twitter beef she didn’t want a part of.
St. Vincent: ½ woman, ½ machine, ½ amazingly adorable.
Mac DeMarco: Extra on The Sopranos.
Sturgill Simpson: You can’t tell me he doesn’t own at least one pair of overalls.
Governors Ball
The War on Drugs: Failed as a policy, not as a band.
Drake: Will cheer for your team when needed.
Tame Impala: Wrangler of mid-sized sedans.
Lana Del Rey: Dude, she dated Axl Rose.
The Black Keys: Dude, they did not date Axl Rose.
Bonaroo
Billy Joel: Here for the ladies.
Mumford and Sons: Here for the ladies that are here for Billy Joel.
D’Angelo: He’ll actually get all those ladies.
Catfish and the Bottlemen: Possibly Foo Fighters in disguise.
Tears for Fears: Spare change for nostalgia.
Earth, Wind and Fire: …And rocking chairs, heart meds and early bedtimes.
Firefly
Snoop Dogg: Only here for tax-free shopping.
The Griswolds: Clark on bass, Helen on lead vocals, Rusty on drums, Christina Applegate on keyboards.
Night Terrors of 1927: Sweaty visions of upcoming financial trouble.
Paul McCartney: More pass, than puff, puff now.
Lollapalooza
Alt-J: My wife’s least favorite band if you’re listening, Sirius.
The Tallest Man on Earth: Manute Bol.
Twin Peaks: Good for a season and a half.
First Aid Kit: Important to keep stocked.
DJ Mustard: It’s also important to keep mustard stocked.
The Chainsmokers: Not one for long sets.
