Conspiracy Theory: Is This British Model Behind The Goopy Split?

News & Culture Writer
03.28.14 6 Comments

The Daily Mail, a.k.a. “British TMZ,” has done some crack reporting and has a theory that British model and television presenter Alexa Chung may be a cog in the wheel of the Gwyneth Paltrow-Chris Martin breakup, according to a woman who served the pair milkshakes at the Glastonbury music festival last summer. DUN, DUN, DUN!

The 37-year-old musician enjoyed a late-night milkshake with Alexa, 30, at Glastonbury music festival in the UK last June, with Jessica Goldsack, who served the pair, today telling MailOnline: ‘They turned up together at around 3 or 4am and came over to where I was working at Shaken Udder and said to me and my friend ‘what do you recommend?’

‘They looked like they were just chilling and having a good time. I did find it a little odd that they were together – but we had a little chat and they wandered off after they asked us if we knew of any good places to go and have a few drinks.

Jessica asked the pair for a picture and posed separately with them, posting it on her Instagram account and calling them ‘both so lovely’. She added: ‘They were having a laugh together, but it didn’t seem that anything was going on.’

Suspicious, sure — but typically dudes who don’t want to get caught cheating also don’t let people take pictures with them and their side piece. BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE! Alexa’s best friend, New York socialite Lauren Santo Domingo tweeted the following in the aftermath of the GOOP:

That settles it, they’re totally banging. Although anyone could have made the same joke at Gwyneth’s expense, so maybe they’re not. All I know is that I would not be surprised in the least if GOOP’s “Conscious Uncoupling” had something to do with Chris Martin’s “Wandering Wang.” (Note: I’m 95% sure that was a Family Feud board answer at some point.)

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