Dolly Parton And The Harlem Globetrotters, Together At Last

Do you like fake comedy basketball games where people get buckets confetti thrown in their faces? What about country-western-themed amusement parks built around a 70-year old woman with gigantic boobs? You love them BOTH, you say? Well hold on to your butts, because the theme park magnates who own Dollywood have just purchased the Harlem Globetrotters.

Here’s the rundown, courtesy of My News 13:

Georgia-based Herschend Family Entertainment Corp. has acquired Harlem Globetrotters International Inc. from Shamrock Capital Advisors.Terms of the deal were not revealed.

Herschend, based in Norcross, Ga., is a family-owned company that owns and operates 26 theme parks, aquariums and other attractions nationwide. Among its operations is a partnership with country singing star Dolly Parton for Dollywood and Dollywood’s Splash Country in Tennessee. It also is an operating partner of Stone Mountain Park in Atlanta, and owner of Silver Dollar City in Branson, Mo.

The Phoenix-based Globetrotters have provided basketball hilarity to the public since 1916, performing 25,000 “games” around the globe. Currently, the Globetrotters display their antics in about 400 games per year.

Loretta Lynn should buy the Washington Generals now just to f*ck with Dolly. Maybe Tammy Wynette can buy a go-kart track somewhere and try to compete. I think my favorite part of the press release is that games is in quotes (“games”), with a strong second-place finisher being the fact that the Globetrotters play 400 GAMES A YEAR. They’re averaging more than a game a day. Is the market that big for worked comedy sports, or are they still living off that sweet Gilligan’s Island reputation?

All I know is that I just added “watch the Globetrotters take on a team of basketball-playing bear mascots at a yokel theme park” to my bucket list. Compare and contrast:

[h/t to Mike Westfall]