R. Kelly is a ladies man. You are not. He can get away with saying, “Girl, we’ll be bangin,’ bangin, bangin’, bangin’ the headboard.” You can not. He can go by Kells. You can not. There are many things R. Kelly can do that you cannot, not all of which relate to pee.
In honor of his upcoming album, Black Panties, and the announcement that more Trapped in the Closet chapters are coming, here are 12 smooth-as-we-be-f*cking R. Kelly lyrics that you should never, ever, EVER use as a pickup line.
(All pics via Getty Image)