Salt-N-Pepa’s “Shoop” was one of the greatest rap songs ever made. You are welcome to disagree with this if you like, but you will be wrong and stupid the entire time your mouth is moving. It was fun, it was catchy, it fit in perfectly on a Cool Times Summer Jamz mix, and its hyper-sexualized message of female empowerment probably did more to advance the cause of feminism than anything any scholar or quote-unquote expert ever produced. It was basically a perfect song.
I say “was” because — as of about 20 minutes ago — it is going to take a long, long time for me to hear the song without thinking of this video of Kris Jenner and Nicole Richie performing it. I don’t know what makes me angriest, the fact that they took such an enjoyable song and drowned it for millions to see, the fact that I had to embed the official Kim Kardashian “Keek” video to show you, or the fact that this family of millionaire television stars can’t figure out how to record a full-screen, non-vertical video with their smart phones. Salt-N-Pepa should sue them. All of us should sue them. We deserve justice.