Have you ever won a contest to hang out with a celebrity, or the Baha Men, for a day? That question was posed on Reddit yesterday, and the answers did not disappoint. (I single out the Baha Men, because of this photo.) Check out all the responses here, but know that the only thing I’ve ever won, literally, the ONLY thing, is matchbox 20 tickets, back when they were called matchbox 20. Thanks, long-gone Clear Channel Radio station in upstate New York! But if I ever did get the chance to meet Metallica backstage at one of their shows, I pray my encounter would go half as well as mechanicalholes’.
I used to work in radio so I’d hang around backstage a lot, but I initially worked in a small market, so usually that meant watching the members of Dope or Gravity Kills hit on gross rednecks or the lead singer from Drowning Pool do lines in the bus and then puke all over himself.
One time, however, I grabbed a pair of tickets to Metallica when they were playing a large city a few hours away, and I went and did my usual thing. Their backstage was ridiculous. I’m talking like a thousand people and an arcade in a tent and fully catered buffets and shit.
At one point, Lars almost mowed me over with a golf cart. At another point, I was interviewing Rob (who had just become their new bassist) and Lars walked over and just started talking a mile a minute, claiming that he swore he knew me from some place. Meanwhile, I’m hoping that this all was getting picked up on my recorder (it wasn’t, because my station was so shitty that they gave me a CASSETTE recorder and it ate the tape) because he was obviously coked out of his mind. All of a sudden, Lars grabs my hand and just starts vigorously shaking it and smiling so hard that I thought he was gonna chip a tooth. And then like a whirlwind, he left the trailer.
But the guy I really wanted to meet was, of course, James. Finally, about an hour before their set (I believe Limp Bizkit was on right before they were), I spotted James doing a meet and greet for another station, and I hopped in line. Every single person was giving him the same kind of life story. Like, “Hey man, I listened to Ride the Lightning in my first car,” or “Hey man, I listened to And Justice For All in my first car.” It was the same story over and over again.
Well I didn’t have a story. I had been homeschooled and hadn’t even heard of Metallica until I was about 20. So when he got to me, I just told him the first thing that popped into my head. I got a real dark expression on my face and said, “I have something I need to tell you right now.” He gives me a real worried look. I quickly pull him close, turn his head to the side, and whisper “I’m pregnant and I think it’s yours.” (Via)
Sick tracksuit, bro.
Banner via Getty Image, via Reddit, photo via Instagram
