Morrissey: Still A Dick

03.04.13 6 years ago 9 Comments

When you really stop and think about it, it’s a wonder Morrissey hasn’t killed himself yet. Dude just seems so goddamn miserable all the time. Seriously, how has Morrissey not offed himself yet?

ANYWAY, now that he’s got the world’s attention following the Duck Dynasty/Kimmel incident, dude just seems to be going all prick, all the time. Who has the biggest blowhard is show business targeted now? Why Paul McCartney and Beyonce, of course!

First, Sir Paul, via Rolling Stone

Morrissey believes Paul McCartney should give back his knighthood if he truly believes in championing animal rights. The former Beatle recently expressed dismay that Los Angeles’ Staples Center would go meat-free (at least partially) for Morrissey’s upcoming concert there, despite the venue turning down his own request – a fact Moz found rather amusing.

“Really, he should be happy for any victory on behalf of the animals,” said Morrissey in a new interview with the Hollywood Reporter. “I know he works tirelessly for the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals [PETA], but he also loves the British royals, whose treatment of animals is abysmal. The Queen herself wears enough fur to blanket most of Russia. . . If he cared passionately about animals, he’d return his knighthood. He doesn’t need the Queen’s approval. He’s given more pleasure to people worldwide than she could ever dream of.”

And speaking of that Staples Center show, via The Hollywood Reporter, he attacked Beyonce from the stage there after being introduced by McDreamy from Grey’s Anatomy

On Friday night, Moz ignored those foes and set his sights on a new target — Beyonce, noting that her choice of handbags has led to the extinction of the rhinos, before launching into The Smiths’ pro-vegetarian number “Meat is Murder.”

For the rest of the 90-minute show, however, Morrissey wallowed in his own misery and demonstrated how he is the master of the collective moan with captivating performances of “That Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore” and “Everyday Is Like Sunday.” His songs about depression, self-loathing and alienation have tapped into a huge audience over the years and the crowd inside Staples sang along to practically every word in an act of communal catharsis.

Now that Morrissey’s “depression, self-loathing and alienation” has bummed you out, here’s a GIF to bring you back to life…

Just lookin’ out for you guys!

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