Today In Nick Cannon Trying Too Hard: Cheetah Print Hair And More Whiteface Controversy

News & Culture Writer
03.31.14 12 Comments

Do you think Nick Cannon has any idea how much we make fun of him? Like, any clue whatsoever? I’m guessing no, because otherwise he might have given his latest self-expression a bit of a rethink. In preparation for an interview with Good Morning America to promote his album “White People Party Music,” which drops tomorrow — on April Fool’s Day (STOP MAKING IT SO EASY FOR F*CK’S SAKE) — Cannon had his hair dyed like a cheetah which apparently took five whole hours to replicate. I hope the cheetah community is going to spark some serious outrage over this.

Meanwhile, over on Good Morning America, Nick Cannon discussed his whiteface “controversy,” which is probably the sole reason Good Morning America let Nick Cannon come on their show to promote a Nick Cannon album. If I didn’t know better, I’d say this whole thing was Miley Cyrus levels of viral marketing genius.

“Whiteface, if you look it up and Google it, it’s a ski slope up in upstate New York,” Cannon said today on ” Good Morning America.” “I don’t really know what that is.” Cannon, who released the photo to promote his first album in more than a decade, “White People Party Music,” said comparisons of his “character impression” to blackface are inaccurate.

“Blackface is a term that was created in 1869 to describe offensive minstrel shows,” Cannon, who’s married to singer Mariah Carey, said. “I was doing a character impression. Blackface is about oppression. If you really want to have that conversation, we can have conversation.”

“To me,” Cannon, 33, added, “this was to have fun and to put it out there. Yes, we have issues with race in this country and this world but it doesn’t have to be about hatred.”

Oh snap! It looks like somebody did their Wiki homework before coming on Good Morning America. The point that Nick Cannon, George Stephanopoulos, and anyone getting mad about this still doesn’t seem to grasp — is that Nick Cannon’s biggest crime isn’t racism, it’s being goddamn unfunny. And in a way, isn’t that kind of worse than being racist? OK, yeah probably not. But oh hey — look everybody Nick Cannon wore sparkly cheetah print shoes to match his dumb hair!

Also because this is hilarious and never gets old, let’s have Dave Chappelle close us out again:

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