Oderus Urungus Describes What A GWAR Super Bowl Halftime Show Would Look Like

One of the all-time great American tragedies is that the petition to get GWAR to play the Super Bowl halftime show only has 44,000 signatures, or about as many tweets as Bruno Mars receives from girls asking to follow them every minute. Take time out of your maggot-free day to sign the maggot-full petition.

Because Oderus Urungus’s description of what a GWAR halftime show would look like sounds pretty great.

GWAR has no intention of playing the halftime show. GWAR is there for one reason — to KILL. We bum-rush the field during the kickoff and proceed to take on both teams. By the end of the first quarter the field would be a ruin of broken, bleeding bodies and crushed helmets.

Amongst the first to die would be the officials. The symbolism of five old white guys ordering around 22 young black ones has nauseated me long enough. Hopefully by the end of the second quarter the shittier team would be decimated. Perhaps it will be the Cowboys, and the half ends by me punting Tony Romo’s head into orbit, taking out the International Space Station in the process. Now the halftime show can begin! (Via)

Oderus would do well for himself on KSK. Read the rest of his pitch over at LA Weekly.

(via Getty Image, via LA Weekly)