Paris Hilton’s New Album Is Almost Done, Followed By Her Very First Resort

Senior Writer
06.12.13 4 Comments

Paris Hilton

In case you hoped the stories that she signed to Cash Money Records weren’t true and simply the result of you falling down a flight of stairs and hitting your head on every step along the way, I have bad news for you. Paris Hilton is almost finished with her brand new album, and that is album as in music and songs and her “singing” and not a collection of photographs of animals that had committed suicide like in that one episode of South Park.

Hilton sat down with the folks at the Daily Beast recently to figuratively rap about the follow-up to her 2006 album “Paris”, which peaked at No. 6 on the Billboard 200 in the U.S. and No. 4 in Canada. What the hell was that about, Canada?

Well, go ahead and explain it to us, Paris.

I’m in the studio and almost finished with the album, and yeah, they’re just finishing up all the paperwork and there will be an announcement soon. But I’m so excited. I think they’ve created an amazing brand. Lil Wayne and some other surprise guests will be on the album, and it’s going to be so sick. It’s an electropop album with some dance-y songs.

You know, if it’s too sick, we might have to kill it for the sake of it not spreading. Perhaps we should just go ahead and not release it to avoid any concern.

Hilton also claimed that her days as a party animal are behind her, as she’s a businesswoman now and “the first one to do all of this”. (I don’t know if she was referring to being a reality TV star and recording a dance album or simply pointing at a picture of the Chicago Bears roster.) But it doesn’t stop at perfumes, music, TV, champagne and paid party appearances for this snowflake of an entrepreneur, who swears that she’s built all of her success on her own and with no help from her parents. She’s also getting into the family business and opening her own resort soon.

My first property is opening next year in Manila. It’s amazing. It’s got this whole three-story beach club, movie theater, a nightclub, restaurant, spas, and seven towers surrounding it with a manmade beach. Then we’re going to open some boutique hotels and nightclubs out in Mumbai. I’m excited to be following in my family’s footsteps.

So make sure to pack two black lights, folks.

(Photo via Shutterstock)

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