There are many “worst” Christmas songs. Esquire says it’s “Wonderful Christmas Time” by Paul McCartney and Wings, a “song whose awesome black hole of musicality is almost powerful enough to suck the life out of everything McCartney did before,” while Paste and the Daily Dot counter with “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer,” which, c’mon, show Grandma some respect. The woman just died, after all. Plus, no offense, but these lists are wrong: the worst Christmas song is obviously “All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth,” which is less “music” than a cloying crime against humanity.
Though I’d also accept “Christmas Is Now.”
You’ve never heard of “Christmas Is Now”? That’s because Stephen Colbert and Norah Jones debuted it on Monday’s The Late Show. I’m torn: you should listen to “Christmas Is Now” — sample lyric: “Christmas is now, Christmas is now, now it is Christmas, and Christmas is now,” repeat forever — because it’s amusingly bad, but I also understand not wanting to hear it because the song’s so hideously repetitive that it will be stuck in your head for a week.
I can’t wait for the Trans-Siberian Orchestra cover.