We Now Present To You The Dumbest Kanye West Rumor Ever

Here’s a rumor that sounds completely plausible and should by no means be laughed at because it comes from the notoriously unreliable, consistently awful British snot rag of a tabloid the Sun:

Kanye West is trying to make an album composed almost entirely of animal noises.

He experimented with them on Watch The Throne, his album with Jay-Z, but wants to take it further.

A source said: “Kanye’s telling mates this is his next ingenious plan.

“He’s become so obsessed with roars, barks and jungle noises that he’s experimenting with putting them on a recording.” (Via)

“It’s a literal Pet Sounds!” – someone on Twitter, probably. In related news, I hear Beach House is going to make an album containing nothing but hobos muttering to themselves because they once met a guy who knows a girl who knows another guy who knows someone who once traveled to Paris and used a bindle while traveling. THAT’S A SCOOP.

But, yeah, Kanye’s not going to make that record, which is a disappointment only to those who think that the best part of “No Church in the Wild” is the monkeys screaming in the background.

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