The Scoreboard: Drake Gives Away All The Money, And Fergie Gives The Anthem An Honest Try

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The Scoreboard is Uproxx Music’s bi-monthly look at who is putting points on the board and who is taking major L’s in the music world over the past couple weeks.

Now that the Olympics have come and gone, we can all go back to not caring about ski jumping a ton, although the winter games provided a nice bump for OAR and Arkells. As gold medals get brought home to countries around the world, Drake is distributing prizes of his own via his “God’s Plan” video, which was so charitable and sweet that I’m not crying, you’re crying. Speaking of crying, 50 Cent managed to break my heart, but I’ve been consoled by good vibes from Adam Scott Aukerman, a wisecracking judge, and Quavo, a literal NBA (Celebrity All-Star Game) MVP.

Win: Drake the money fairy

I knew that Drake was giving away money like SpongeBob after the overwhelming success of Pretty Patties, but the scale of his charity was more enormous than anybody realized: The 6 God dished out nearly a million dollars during the course of his video for “God’s Plan.” Between the footage of Drake holding giant checks, tearing up while hugging recipients of an OVO stimulus package, and doing goofy Drake dances in an empty mall, the “God’s Plan” video was an overwhelming success. Be sure also to keep an eye on the exuberant undershirt-wearing guy, since he’ll be making some noise in the primaries during the next presidential election.

Loss: Oh say, are you hearing this?

As an artist, it’s your job to push boundaries, to take risks that may or may not pay off, to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable. That’s how I’m choosing to explained what happened during Fergie’s performance of the national anthem at this year’s NBA All-Star Game. It may not have been as bad as the meme-hungry internet convinced itself that it was, but to put it simply, it wasn’t good. No joke I could try to force here would be better than Charles Barkley saying that he needed a cigarette, so I’ll just say this: The effort was admirable, Fergie, it truly was, but don’t phunk with my anthem.

Win: Haters, who have been known to hate

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Taylor Swift’s quest to gain complete domain over the planet is going pretty well, but the guys behind the 3LW song “Playas Gonna Hate” tried to disrupt her reign recently with a lawsuit, saying that Swift’s “Shake It Off” lyrics about players playing and haters hating strike too similar a chord to their track. That’s of course nonsense, because players and haters have been engaging in their namesake pastimes since time immemorial, and Judge Michael W. Fitzgerald, who dismissed the case, agreed in his official ruling by flexing his sense of humor.