This Punk CD Compilation Is Horribly Misguided

“Hey, music fan, do you love punk? Of course you do! Then you’ll love this collection of punk’s greatest hits. Sure, we didn’t include the Ramones, Circle Jerks, the Clash, or X-Ray Spex, but we do have the anarchistic Huey Lewis and the News, riotous Love and Rockets, and the totally anti-establishment Thompson Twins. You’ll be shouting F*CK THE MAN while listening to Crowded House and their crust-punk classic ‘Don’t Dream It’s Over.’ The Dead Boys? Never heard of ’em. I’m too busy listening to the original bad boy, Tommy Tutone.”

Such is the message of a wonderful commercial from the 1990s that features two “punks” (“YEAH!”) hawking a compilation of the finest songs punk has to offer, including “Karma Chameleon” and Toni Basil’s “Mickey.” I know “punk” is a BS phrase that doesn’t mean anything, BUT: for the love of Joe Strummer, why did this happen? Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to put a pin through my nose and listen to INXS for the rest of the day.