For weeks, Donald Trump has been promising to unleash his medical report. The fateful day has arrived with a clean bill of Trump health. However, the internet appears be more entranced by Trump’s doctor. Harold Bornstein’s own website describes him as a Yale-educated gastroenterology and internal medicine master, who is licensed by the state of New York. His father, Jacob, was once the Trump family doc. Sadly, Jacob passed away five years ago, and Harold took over the business. On Monday, Bornstein delivered this message (“to whom my concern”) to the voting masses.
Full letter from Trump's physician saying he's, like, pretty much the healthiest person, ever. pic.twitter.com/NPK0lnSF1Z
— Jessica Taylor (@JessicaTaylor) December 14, 2015
So, Trump would “unequivocally” be the “healthiest individual ever elected” to the office of president. His stated blood pressure is 110/65, which is hard to believe for a guy who yells so much. All lab tests turned out “astonishingly excellent,” and Trump has no history of cancer, orthopedic surgery, or substance abuse. We can be happy for Trump, who is happy for himself.
Now, onto more pressing matters. Harold Bornstein appears a bit mysterious. He may have his own Twitter account, which is written entirely in Italian. Whatever the case, this is Harold Bernstein in all his fancy-haired glory. Keep scrolling for the payoff and many comebacks that follow.
This, no joke, is Trump’s supposed doctor. https://t.co/xmsrgyF4Jy pic.twitter.com/nrZsRljsmJ
— Sean Gentille (@seangentille) December 14, 2015
https://twitter.com/Rschooley/status/676473759394476032
Oh, this is just brutal. Brent Spiner never asked for this comparison.
https://twitter.com/willrahn/status/676481006111707136
Meanwhile, the Twitter jokes are pouring in from all corners of the political spectrum. People are pulling out Obama jokes, dealing satire, and dumping on Trump. Much like Harold Bornstein’s bill of clean health for Trump, the #TrumpDoctor tag is riding high.
Mr. Trump's bone density is spactacular beyond reason. Below pic is a result of fracture test by #TrumpDoctor. pic.twitter.com/8t5aEepgsM
— Notorious T.I.M. (@PLUTim) December 14, 2015
This guy wonders whether Trump and his doctor are in fact the same person.
Donald Trump's doctor sounds like Donald Trump. pic.twitter.com/6c2ERAF7Pk
— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) December 14, 2015
https://twitter.com/owillis/status/676478869248090112
Most people's appendices are worthless and losers. Trump's appendix is the richest and most successful appendix in this race. #trumpdoctor
— ~*~ f O x X i -*~ (@foxxi_loxxi) December 14, 2015
"Trump is so healthy, he's redefined health. We are all now technically sick in comparison." #TrumpDoctor
— 🇺🇦🏴☠️Deep State Wisco🏴☠️🇺🇦 (@Wisco) December 14, 2015
https://twitter.com/owillis/status/676477420497723392
https://twitter.com/Kragar_LGF/status/676478173928808448
Mr. Trump's brain is actually larger than his skull but he keeps it contained with sheer intellectual power. #TrumpDoctor
— Robert Schlesinger 🇺🇸🇺🇦 (@rschles) December 14, 2015
https://twitter.com/netw3rk/status/676476276098600962
BREAKING: President Obama demands to see Donald Trump's long-form health report: "Anyone can forge a doctor's note." pic.twitter.com/4gutPxW8dt
— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) December 14, 2015
https://twitter.com/NolteNC/status/676478000226041856
Exclusive footage of Trump & his doctor: https://t.co/ISOqXqIguQ
— Jessica Taylor (@JessicaTaylor) December 14, 2015